Sunday, November 29, 2009

Continuing to give thanks.....

Tomorrow will be my last "gratitude adjustment" post on Facebook (as November is ending), but I am certainly no less grateful for everything. I have appreciated this exercise even more than I expected. I needed to step back and really think about the everyday things for which I am thankful. Here's the latest (since my last post):

  • 11/20: "Today I am thankful for a good boss. I've had wonderful ones and I've had lousy ones. The good ones make it very worthwhile. Hats off to 'JB'!!!"
  • 11/21: "Today, I am thankful for warm socks! I know that sounds silly, but see how thankful you are for them when you're in a cold building! :)"
  • 11/22: "Today, I am thankful for the journey known as life. I am thankful for the companions on the journey and what they have to teach me .... about themselves, about myself. I'm thankful for multiple chances and grace for each moment."
  • 11/23: "Today I am thankful for dress-down week, for a 24/7 access gym, and for coffee waiting when I got home from the gym for breakfast. And thankful for polish that dries in 60 seconds. Important stuff for a Monday morning!"
  • 11/24: "Today, I am thankful that my dental appointment is AFTER Thanksgiving lunch at work! :D I'm also thankful for good dentists & hygienists, and for good strong teeth!"
  • 11/25: "Today I am thankful for a wonderful vet and staff who love my baby to death. And I am thankful that I can bring him back with me to the office this afternoon. I am also thankful that my cooking turned out well last night!"
  • 11/26: "Today, I am thankful for so much, I hardly know where to start: for grace, forgiveness, love, family, friends, and abundance; for friendships made and found again; and my sincere prayers for all who need some level of miracle in their lives. But then again, don't we all? HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE!!!!!"
  • 11/27: "Today, I am thankful for a day off. And I am thankful that I only have two retail places that I *have* to visit today, and not for any BF specials. I do not do Black Friday."
  • 11/28: "Today, I am thankful to be able to help people become healthier, and to share even one or two small things to help them along the way."
  • 11/29: "Today, I am thankful for the start of another liturgical year -- the wonder and anticipation of Advent that makes Christmas a true joy. After all, the real Christmas season is Dec. 25 until Jan. 6, not Black Friday to Christmas Eve at 6:00 PM."
I will continue this exercise, but in a slightly different format. My plan is to keep a daily calendar in Publisher or Word, and put my thanks on each day. Then at the end of the month, posting it online in PDF format or as a link online.

Amazingly enough, I find that while I still have tense moments and crazy days, somehow they haven't seemed quite as bad as I might have expected originally. Ha. Imagine that. If, as Proverbs says, "a merry heart is like a good medicine" how much more helpful to the system is a grateful heart?

Friday, November 27, 2009

Not gonna, no way, no how

Black Friday sales, that is.

One, I love sleep like a fat kid loves chocolate cake. I never get enough, that's for sure (I know, I know, something I've got to work on). So you definitely were not gonna see my happy rear outside Toys-R-Us or Wally or anywhere else at midnight, 3 AM, 4 AM, 5:30 AM, or whenever. Two, I love warm houses. My internal thermostat went on the fritz somewhere around the 100-pound mark, so I cannot take the cold without being bundled up like I'm doing the Iditarod. Three, are the prices really worth it? Yeah, I can try to snag a laptop advertised at (example) $249. But if the store only has 3, and there are 500 people there also wanting a laptop....... right. I'd rather pay $299 and avoid the madding crowds.

The only places I plan to venture today are..... leaving in 10 minutes to meet a friend to pick up something. Then back home, wait on Mom to get back from a funeral (long story) and then out to Hobby Lobby to browse for something. Other than that....... MAYBE the grocery store.

I have heard via friends on FB that it's not quite as crazy out there today as it has been before. I remain unswayed .... it's just not worth it!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Gratitude Adjustment / Channelling HRHJCB

You know, it's going fairly well...... I do notice a difference in my attitude. Each morning, shower time has become my time to go, "Okay, really, what *am* I thankful for today?" And it forces me to get that in my head early enough .... and throughout the rest of the day, it forces me to really think about being more grateful for everything that comes my way. Here's my list so far:

  • 11/9: "Today, I am thankful for those who listen to my heart as well as my words. That means more than you know!!!"
  • 11/10: "Today I am thankful for the rain.... I hate that people on the Gulf are getting hammered with it even worse, but thankful that it's also heading our way. We still need it!"
  • 11/11: "Today, I am thankful for all veterans, and for those who serve today. Your sacrifices and hard work make my freedoms possible, and we don't thank you nearly enough!"
  • 11/12: "Today I am thankful for health conditions that make me take better care of myself. They really are blessings in disguise!"
  • 11/13: "Today, I am thankful for my family (immediate and extended) and their love for me through every place and stage of my life."
  • 11/14: "Today I am thankful for bright warm sunshine and crisp air."
  • 11/15: "Today I am thankful for the opportunity to serve God and his people through singing. I am so humbled by the trust God placed in me with this gift, and it's my prayer and hope that I use it properly."
  • 11/16: "Today I am thankful for the ability to look back and say, "Nope, wouldn't change a thing." Every event, every person, every trial and every joy has made me who I am today, and why would I ever want to change that?"
  • 11/17: "Today I am thankful for my friends: you keep me sane, and when needed give me a reality check; you love me in spite of my foibles, failings and flaws; and you make me a better person by your belief in me!"
  • 11/18: "Today I am thankful for my chiropractor - I'll be even more thankful after today's appointment! :)"
  • 11/19: "Today I am thankful for my dog, Maddox. I know that sounds crazy, but I love my buddy so much. He's a good example for my own soul: he loves without regard and without measure."
And I really mean all those things.

***

Now, for those of you who are familiar with the Sweet Potato Queens series of books by Jill Connor Browne, you will certainly appreciate this:

So there I am, getting myself a fill-up and coffee fix at a gas station on the way home, and one of the girls at the checkout counter was bawling her eyes out. I mean, red-rimmed, puffy, etc. and she was telling the other girl about the breakup of her marriage (at least from the little bit that I gathered).

I wanted so badly to both give her a huge hug, and then to tell her "Okay, baby. Starting now, chin up, tits out. He is a man, plain and simple, and you can't make anything else out of him. And the man who is worth crying over won't make you cry." But I didn't -- (a) b'GOCK! b'GOCK! and (b) she might have looked at me and (rightly) said, "Chick, you know NOTHING about my situation so keep your trap shut."

What slew me was when I heard her say, "I never wanted to go through my middle years alone... (sniff sniff sniff)." She looked younger than me. One, I'm thinking, "Middle age? Hunny, when do you think that STARTS because it sure as hell AIN'T 35!" and two, I thought, "Better to be alone and happy than together and in agony." Life is just too short to be in that much misery over a jerk (note: I know full well that NOT ALL GUYS ARE JERKS!!!! There are plenty of good ones out there, and I'm blessed to count several guy friends among them. But this guy was apparently a real weiner... er, winner. Yeah. Pardon me, my Freudian slip is showing....)

So to Jill Connor Browne, thank you a million times over. Thank you for writing Book of Love (the first) and for whatever in the universe compelled me to buy it and read it again and again and FINALLY having the message sink in a few years later: "If you don't like your life, change it." Life is too short to be wallowing in misery, and I really really should have been bolder and told the girl something uplifting. I don't know that it would have sunk in, but I should have tried harder. I just hope she's got a Jill in her life who will tell her, "Okay, enough sniveling because he isn't worth the salt in your tears. Now hold your head up and go conquer the world!"

Go forth and conquer, friends!

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Having an attitude of gratitude....

I generally think of myself as positive -- but I have my moments where I'm given to complaining, and most often about the tiniest irritants in the grand scheme. A real-life "Princess & The Pea" moment.

For example, I am practically OCD when it comes to kitchen storage things. I know, I laugh about it and yet it's really sad. My brother even half-jokingly refers to me as the female version of the husband from "Sleeping With The Enemy." (No, I don't need the towels to be stripe-side out, and even-lengthed, nor do I need cans with brand name facing out. If anything, I'd turn cans nutrition facts label out -- HA!) The prime example is this: I have a lot of Ziploc/Gladware plastic that I use to take my lunch in -- everything from 1 cup bowls to larger storage things. Now, even as messy and unorganized as I am, I am a real stickler for making sure it's all stacked to minimize clutter and maximize my ability to find them in a hurry (which is most mornings). I truly get all whacked out when they're thrown up into the cabinet haphazardly. I have yelled, begged, cajoled, etc. and all it does is make me super-stressed out.

This is just an example of what I mean -- it's the little things that really don't mean anything, that I'm allowing to stress me out...... when I ought to just be grateful for having the items, for having a way to wash them and keep them clean, for having a house to put them in, and food to put in them. So many things I should be grateful for --- and like an idiot, I focus instead on the part that matters least.

In my heart of hearts, I know I am blessed beyond belief and I really am grateful for all those things in my life. I have more than I need, more than I want, I have health and I have family and friends, and I have a job (such a blessing!). I have the ability to think, to create, to move and walk and breathe without assistance. There are such overarching blessings that I feel like a total, complete heel for the penny-ante whines.

So I really want to work this month on my "attitude of gratitude." I want to stop focusing on those stupid little things and instead be glad for what those irritants mean
  • Less whining about the dishes in the sink, and more grateful for the ability to put food on them.
  • Less screeching about dirty clothes that pile up, and more drop-to-my-knees-in-praise for having more than one item to wear and the means to keep them washed.
  • Less peevishness about little crap that really doesn't matter, and more rise-up-and-cry-out about things that really aren't right with the world.
From all the petty concerns -- deliver me, Lord. For the things that truly matter -- make me grateful, Lord. From those who have the least in material goods and the most in spirit -- give me the wisdom to learn from them, Lord. For those who need me to speak for them -- give me boldness to do so, Lord.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Gang still rides......

Another weekend, and I have more apple butter cooking up overnight. There were two pecks of apples to use, so........ It's about 6-1/3 pounds or so of apples before peeling and coring. So I figure it's about 5 pounds of apples afterwards. And I still have quite a few apples left to eat (my adored Pink Lady kind).

And I just realized I left out the spices! Crap! I remembered the Splenda but not the spices. Dang it. Need to go add it really quick!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Apple Butter Gang.....

Forgive this walk down Memory Lane, but when I was a kid, I got a great thrill out of Movie Saturdays at the elementary school. You see, one of my Girl Scout friends had a dad who had a great love for movies. On Saturdays during the school year, and occasionally in the summers, Mr. H would show movies to the kids using the projector. These were the days when movies and films in class were shown with big honkin' projectors and you had to get the reels just so......... Kids today have no idea how good we had it.

For the grand princely sum of 50c/week, we got to see not one but TWO kid-friendly movies in the cafeteria. Mr. H also provided popcorn and cotton candy for a little extra money. The movies were the great Disney 70s fare like Bedknobs and Broomsticks, The Cat From Outer Space, the original Freaky Friday with Jodie Foster, and one of my very favorites, The Apple Dumpling Gang with Tim Conway and Don Knotts. If memory serves, I also saw the first Superman with Christopher Reeve on one of those Saturdays.

But anyway, last Saturday, I became a one-woman Apple Butter Gang. As I mentioned in my last post, I got possessed, bought 3 pecks of apples, and found a very easy crock-pot apple butter recipe online! The adventure of making apple butter was more like a misadventure from one of the Apple Dumpling Gang movies -- and just as much fun! These are some of the things I learned from my great apple butter adventure:
  • The crock-pot that I thought was 6 quarts is only 5. Oh well. What can you do? Okay, what I really wanted to do was get my happy rear to Kohl's for the 8-quart crockpot they had on sale earlier this week. Like I need it. I do. Don't I?
  • Whomever created the recipe has a serious sweet tooth! :) The original recipe called for 2 c sugar for three pounds of apples. It said you could substitute Splenda. So I did. And let me tell you.......... 1.5 cups of Splenda was PLENTY for 6 pounds of AB's -- honestly, almost too much. I could have gotten away with just 1 cup of the Brown Sugar Splenda.
  • When it says cook on Low for 8-10 hours, go with the 10. I ended up putting the apple mush in the fridge until Monday evening, then getting it out to cook down some more. And honestly, I could have let it go for maybe even 11-12? These were some seriously juicy apples!
  • Five quarts of apple pieces will cook down by half. What I thought might be 1 gallon (4 quarts) of apple butter was only 72 oz (9 half-pint jars). Yeah, that's still a buttload of apple butter. And I have more to make ..... I gotta do something with these apples! We will also be making and freezing some applesauce too. MMMM!!!!
  • And, homemade apple butter definitely beats store-bought! ANY day.
Signing off now!
Suzy Homemaker

Sunday, October 18, 2009

It's the only explanation...

I am possessed. By the demon of domesticity. Her name is Suzy Homemaker.

I hardly have a domestic type bone in my body for things like home cleaning, chores, decor (I'm definitely no Martha Stewart, but I have a vague idea of what works for me). But I am finding myself strangely drawn to the kitchen and whipping up all manner of food.

I went back to the orchard after working yesterday's WW meetings. I bought 3 pecks total: 1.5 each of Pink Lady (my favorite variety!) and of Arkansas Black. I also got the bright idea while standing there in line to make some apple butter.I found a very easy crock-pot apple butter recipe online, and I fired that sucker up today. I used primarily the Arkansas Blacks, with one of the Honeycrisps. I have even made a double batch, so I might be cooking these apples well into tomorrow...... And I don't know what kind of acidic-like stuff is in apples (peelings, fruit itself, etc.), but let me tell you, my hands felt like sandpaper!!! I did an improvised version of Mary Kay's "Satin Hands" routine with what I have on hand at the house, and they're starting to appear human again. I also managed to completely clog up BOTH basins in the kitchen sink Apparently our disposal wasn't really up for the peelings from 6 pounds of apples. Yeah, I know. I ought to start composting if I'm becoming a domestic diva. Actually, I've been thinking about it anyway (my God, what has come over me????).

I had planned to make some ham & potato chowder today as well and freeze it for the winter. I have about 10 quart freezer containers just begging for some soup to be put into them. I've delayed only because I have to also bake some chicken and some turkey burgers for this week. Yeah, I can do it all at once, but Lord have mercy! Too much domesticity and I may burn out! HA!!!

Saturday, October 03, 2009

As much as I love kitchen gadgetry

it has become rather apparent that the gadgets do not love me back........

I am typing to you right now with a band-aid around my right ring finger, top knuckle. That's where I sliced/gouged it on a mandoline, trying to nicely and evenly cut a summer squash. Okay, keep in mind that this gadget wasn't a terribly expensive model -- less a "mandoline" and more of a cheap "slicer" (yeah, you think?).Further proof that you get what you pay for. Happy to report that this will be my LAST accident using said slicer -- I bought a much nicer mandoline a couple of weeks ago. I just grabbed this one out of habit.

Meanwhile, my left thumb and the top knuckle of the left index finger look as though they lost a serious clawfest with a most ill-tempered feline. This was from using the "and if you act now, we'll throw in......" portion of the package. I bought one of those "Titan" peelers that is advertised on TV, and it came with a free julienning tool. Actually, I'm rather pleased with the peeler and the extra gadget. They're both pretty nice.

These culinary preparation disasters should come as no real surprise to those who know me. Remember "danger-prone Daphne" from Scooby-Doo? Or "Messy Marvin" from the Hershey's commercials? Yeah. I'm a relative of theirs.

I have grown to love preparing food. It's been one of the nicer side benefits from the whole weight-loss thing: falling in love with food and how to prepare it, and ways I can make it tastier and better for me. But God knows, while I would love to buy it already-prepped, it's not always an economically sound idea to pay for convenience's sake. Sometimes it is -- don't get me wrong. For instance, as I stare at the ever-reddening bandage, I'm thinking maybe paying more for the pre-sliced squash could have been a good thing.

For me, there's something more "authentic" about doing it yourself. Being part of the preparation can give you a deeper connection to your food and a deeper appreciation for it. Yes, I can buy a can of soup; open and heat, and enjoy for 2 or 3 meals. Or, I can take the time to get all the ingredients, make a huge pot of the soup, eat it for days or freeze it for later, and know more precisely how it was done, what went into it, etc. I haven't gone quite so far as to using ingredients I personally raised with my own little hands; I guess I'm probably more Rachael Ray than I am Martha Stewart. But at least it's a place to start. I can appreciate all the different flavors ... improvise a little with the herbs and spices to suit my own tastes ... ponder the universe and agriculture and all that transpired to bring this food to me. And what the food will do for me once it enters my system .... and how its energy can best be used. What will I do with what the food has given me? How do I respond to that gift? (Yes, let's all hold hands and sing "All Good Gifts" from Godspell, right? Just think about it, okay?)

Where my failures lie are in the mechanics of the preparation. Food and meal prep occasionally requires great patience and an even hand. *SNORT* Okay folks, we need not address my shortcomings in those departments. I'm all too aware of them. So maybe, just maybe, that's the lesson to be learned -- even more so than the "connection to the food and the life cycle and all of creation by extension" portion. I've learned to appreciate the idea of the process, and need to work further on the timing thereof.

****

And in other news............ only 3 weeks to go and I will officially no longer be larva. Color me very psyched!!!!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Fell a little short......

Today was Race for the Cure 2009. My goal: finish in 45:00, but be happy with anything under 48:00.

There could not have been a more ominous weather forecast. They were calling for BIG rain today, mostly all day. It looked a few times like the sky might just open up this morning. God, however, smiled on us and the rains held off. Now, it was cool .... cool and humid, as opposed to last year's warm and muggy. It's an odd combination but not a bad one. I suppose this is what doing a 5K in London would be like.

I got to the parking garage and went down to the gathering area and vendor stations in the courtyard. One of the things which I should know by now is to not visit vendor tents until after I finish the race. Nope. I go right away and end up hauling it all with me (mistake #1). I didn't get as many things this year or visit quite as many tents. Honestly, do I need another tote bag? No. I did buy a checkbook cover at a t-shirt vendor .... and it was needed. The little plastic one they gave me when I opened this account nearly 5 years ago is just about being held together by a string.

The survivor's walk began, and honestly, that part alone is worth the price of admission. This year, I was especially impressed by the women who are 40+ year survivors. I think about the horrific chemo treatments that were around back then. I know the ones my great-aunt had 30-something years ago and how terrible they made her feel (in addition to the fatigue from her actual illness). To see these ladies smiling and waving to us all .... serious lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.

Soon afterwards, we lined up and began. During the first mile, in order to get around some of the slower traffic, I began to walk faster, zigzagging in and out. And in some of the wider spaces, I began to jog (mistake #2). Got to the one-mile point and............... 17:16. WHAT? I know, better than last year's 21:something, but still. That's my usual pace at the office on a walk, where I'm not jogging. But I also remembered that my one-mile pace is usually my worst (because of the slower people and the 1-mile-only crowd mixed together with the 5K'ers). Okay.

So the second mile comes along and it's pretty well uphill a good portion of the way. I pulled off the jacket I had on because by this point, I was definitely warm. Wrapped it around my waist and put back on my sling backpack. A full one, again, thanks to all the vendor stuff I picked up. Not smart, not smart. Anyhow, I walked along and kept an eye out for two of my coworkers who were running it. I didn't see them at all! When I got to the 2-mile mark, my time was around 33:15 (if I remember correctly). Okay, that's a good pace ..... for a stretch where I thought I was doing my worst. Um, okay.

Soon came the time for the turn to begin mile three. I really was getting tired, and I knew I would have to do some jogging if I hoped to have a prayer of seeing 45:00 when I crossed the line. I looked down at my watch when I hit the water station and realized 45:00 was slipping away from me. I looked down a short time later and saw 48:00 had elapsed from the start time. I felt like crying, but instead...... I started jogging. I now would have to be happy with anything short of 56:26, even if it was 56:25.

I saw one of my runner-coworkers: she did 33:20!!!! I was so proud of her, and then she told me our other runner did 30:00 (roughly). WHOA!!!!! Talk about extra proud of them -- the one who finished in 30 just quit smoking earlier this month. He's about 9 days out without a cigarette, and figured that doing this race was good incentive to keep on the healthy track. And she just took up running earlier this year. Amazing, both of them!!!

I got to the final turn and couldn't find the timer that's usually at the finish line. I looked at my watch and guesstimated that I'd have somewhere around 52:00.

Apparently, we got a later start than I thought we had. I saw 48:52 at the timer (a smaller one than last year's, which is how I missed it!)..... and started running. I was gonna hit 49:00 if I could. But I didn't have quite enough juice for that.

It's okay though............. Not only did I beat my time from last year by 7:23, I'm still roughly at the same pace I was this spring. And all this year, I haven't exclusively walked as my only exercise. I've done the bike and aerobics too. In a way, I think that helped me ..... it improved my cardio enough that I wasn't totally exhausted at the end. Last year, they had chair massages available and I took advantage -- and nearly fell asleep. This year, I didn't see the massage area, but it's okay. I went back to the food court, got a Fiber One yogurt and some water, and pulled the apple and protein bar I'd brought from home out of my backpack.

I also ran into someone who hadn't seen me in a long time and she didn't recognize me. I have to admit; that's one of the best feelings ever. I love watching eyes bug out and jaws drop. I also ran into my original WW leader in the stairwell -- she didn't recognize me from behind! :D

It is astounding to think that in 2 years, I've managed to shave 17:03 minutes off my time. That amount of time is right now buying me right at another MILE under ideal circumstances (in real life, let's say it will get me 7/8 of a mile). I am thinking the only way right now I'll break 45 is to start running...... more often, so that I can build up my endurance. I can do about 20-30 seconds of straight on run-jogging, and then I have to slow it back down. It might be that I have to do a running clinic where I learn how to run.

I already can't wait for next year. I have another walk in a month for Juvenile Diabetes, and there's a place to hope for 45 too!!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

20 years ago this morning....

I awoke face down on a very nice area rug in Greensboro NC. I didn't wake until 11:30 AM, but it was the next couple of minutes later that got me. When I peered out the windows, there were limbs all over the front yard. I asked Mrs. T (our hostess) what had happened, and she quietly, almost haltingly said, "Girls, the storm came through early this morning. Y'all slept through it."

That's right. I slept through a hurricane.

Hurricane Hugo. 20 years ago last night, it made landfall just east of Charleston, and instead of skirting up the coast as we expected, it came inland, hitting Charlotte, Greensboro, Roanoke and other interior portions of Virginia and eventually Pennsylvania and even up to Buffalo.

We were staying in Greensboro because we had tickets for the Elton John concert, originally scheduled for September 22, 1989 in Charlotte. We figured the storm would go up the coast, toward the Outer Banks and the Tidewater area....... no problem, right?

God said, HAAAAAAAAAA!

No concert. We stayed in Greensboro until Saturday afternoon, at which point we trekked on over to Raleigh where other friends had gathered. By Sunday morning, I was tired and just wanted to be home until I knew what would happen next. We all knew school was shut down indefinitely. I dropped off one person from our travel party in Fort Mill (just outside Charlotte). His neighborhood looked like a war zone..... trees and uprooted stuff and mangled fencing. Half his street had water and electricity, the other half did not. I remember he asked about his sister, and his mom mentioned that she was up the street at a neighbor's taking a shower because they were in the water-service area, and their home had none. I dropped off another person in Spartanburg, then headed home to wait it out.

A week later, we were back, but things would never be "back to normal." Even though we weren't there for the height of the storm, as some of our local friends were, an event like that changes you and your perspective. I never really thought I was invincible or even immortal. Having attended way too many family funerals as a youngster gave me lots of exposure to the life-and-death cycle. I knew from losing two classmates in high school that, yes indeed, it could happen to any of us and eventually it would catch up to us. So I held no illusions of invincibility or immortality. But I had an illusion of innocence -- that somehow, the world was still fresh and wonderful if I just believed it so.

That was a casualty of the storm. Wisdom and knowledge have their price, usually consisting of selling your innocence and your idealism.

At least the NBA can thank Hugo for something -- they got a star out of the deal. Tim Duncan was supposed to be an Olympic swimmer. The Olympic-size training pool on his island got destroyed in the storm, so he changed sports.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

As autumn approaches....

I'm so glad autumn, my very favorite season, is nearly here. There's a special kind of magic about those three months that grabs me and doesn't let go. In nearly 40 years, I've never quite been able to adequately describe the magic -- and even if I could, I wouldn't want to break the spell by uttering the appeal. I love the rich earthy colors. I love the crisp air. Of course, I love football season!

The maple tree out back has always been my fall barometer. When I was a kid, I always knew it was close to my birthday because there would be tons and tons of leaves all over the yard from the maple. As time has gone on and the climate has changed, I can't count on the leaves as the telltale sign of my birthday. For many years, the leaves didn't turn, let alone actually fall, until November -- past my birthday. Other years, especially the drought-stricken years of recent memory, the leaves have turned and gone by mid-October (too soon for this girl!).

The tree isn't much longer for this world. It is very old, drying faster than you can imagine, and we've already had to cut limbs weakened by summer droughts and winter ice storms. It makes a nice wood to put in the fire pit, but there's sadness in that burning too. I dread the day the tree will come down at last. It's coming fairly soon -- the tree trunk is just barely on our neighbor's side of the property line, but the branches extend to both yards. As a kid, I always thought of the tree as ours and in a way, I still do. Dad and the neighbor have discussed it several times over the last few years -- we all know that the tree is dying. When limbs were cut a couple of years ago, one limb in particular had a portion of the center hollowed out and full of black ants. Yeah. Not good for the tree or for our respective properties (his shed, Dad's shed and our deck).

It is startling to realize that I'm about to turn 40. Honestly, it's a birthday I've looked forward to for quite some time now. I've been prepping myself for months, telling myself I'm 40. It's just a number. That's all. But it's a good number. I feel very at ease in my own skin and in my own life. It took me such a long time to get there. With age comes wisdom (sometimes, anyway), and as much as I still think of myself as being younger (I'll always be 27 in my mind!), I wouldn't want to do it all over again. I gained this perspective and insight and wisdom through my failures and missteps and stumblings -- and even if I could go back and change things, I wouldn't. Do I want to trade off the hard-earned knowledge for getting my way (and maybe getting far worse)? Not a chance. I'm keeping what I've earned. Yeah..... that's it. A sense of earning my keep in this world. That what I know and what I feel and sense and believe has been earned, and not just handed to me. That's what's making 40 feel like a great place to be.

Makes me giddy. Fall and 40.

***

One very VERY sad note: I lost a fraternity brother this week, and I am just heartbroken. Carolyn was only a few months younger than me. She was a dedicated teacher, coach, friend, and all-around good person. There will never ever be another person like her -- yeah, we all know that. But in this case, it's so very true. Carolyn wasn't the life of the party; she was the party. It really makes me so very sad to realize the world is a dimmer place without her. I pray today, the day of her funeral, that her family is strengthened and comforted by God's love and care, and that they take solace in the love shown by the legions of people whose lives were touched by her -- all the kids she coached, the students she taught, her colleagues, the friends who loved her, and anyone whose life was changed by her care and concern.

As for me, I am sure that the angels welcomed her warmly into Paradise. I also have no doubts that she's already organized a parade, followed by a barbecue, for all new arrivals to have a meet-and-greet! And is passing out clown noses and balloons to everyone. "Hey, Moses -- here you go, you forgot this! HONK HONK!"

Godspeed, Shotgun. You will be sorely, dearly missed, and I know we shall meet again.

Friday, September 04, 2009

An ugly W is still a W!!

Hallelujah, it has begun and the long national nightmare is over -- college football season has arrived!!! My beloved Gamecocks were again the Cardiac Chickens......

Last year, the game at NC State was almost a yawn: 34-0 and NC State looked baaaaaaad (and I don't mean "Superfly" kinda bad). This year, it was much, much closer, and near the end, looked pretty dang scary. We squeaked out a 7-3 win.

Actually, it's a good thing. For me, the harder you work for something, the more meaningful it is. And two, you learn more from your challenges than from your creampuff moments. Next weekend, Georgia is NOT going to be an NC State (no offense to the Wolfpack, mind you) so we had best develop our A+ game this week. Georgia will be bringing it -- especially if they get punked by Okie State.

Fall is just around the corner. It is official now! LET THE GAMES CONTINUE!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

A veggie tale of sorts.....

I am a proud product of the South...... except for some of the food.

Fried chicken? Check (okay, these days, it's faux-fried in the oven but that's not the point). Buttermilk biscuits? MMMM.... gimme!!! Cornbread? Very much so, but it took me a few years to get there. Same with bluegrass music; took years me to appreciate it. Collards or turnip greens?..........

Well, let's pause there.

My parents, every New Year's Day, would have black-eyed peas and turnip greens. Mom is not a fan of collards so they substituted turnip greens for the annual New Year's Day ritual. Supposedly, you eat these foods as a symbol of the money you hope to obtain throughout the year. Frankly, I prefer -- and practice -- the money-burial ritual instead (don't ask, it's a long story). And to show our disdain for those disgusting foods, my brother and I made a tradition of splitting a frozen pizza and bag of chips.

I'll also say that while I was a somewhat picky eater as a child, as I've grown older my tastes have developed and changed. The broccoli I absolutely hated as a child is the same food that I have never gotten enough of from age 12 on. The cornbread that I refused to eat all through my childhood and teen years (except as Thanksgiving dressing) is the stuff I love now. I still don't like black-eyed peas or field peas or butter beans or anything of the sort.... I do like a small amount of black beans (usually as part of a soup or corn salad), and I love kidney beans in chili, but that's about the extent of my bean adventures.

About a year ago, we had a catered luncheon at work from a local upscale barbecue place. One of their sides that came was cooked collard greens, cooked "southern-style." Flavored with ham and onions. I needed a couple of extra veggie servings that day, and I knew I couldn't count macaroni as a vegetable (much as most meat-and-three places try to convince me otherwise). So with much trepidation, I got a small serving of the collards. I wouldn't have called it love at first bite, but I did go back for seconds.

Now, eating Smoke on the Water's collards is one thing. But to fix them myself is another. And to venture even further is yet another. But it happened. I was passing through Durham NC a few weeks ago and stopped at Cracker Barrel for lunch. And with hardly a second thought, one of the sides I ordered was the turnip greens. Now that was love at first bite. I downed them pretty quickly. It had to be a fluke, right? I mean, really, there's no way this can be happening to me.

This past week, I went to Whole Foods' hot bar for lunch. One of the veggies? "Southern-style Collards"...... and they were very good.

What is happening to me? Are black-eyed peas next (I like their music, but....)?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Are you ready for some......

FOOOOTBAAAAAAALLLLL???? Dang skippy.

I love football -- a near-unhealthy love of it, compared to others of us who have a set of double-X chromosomes. Any future husband had either better love it as much or prepare to be a football widower. The tailgating? Check. And I'm far less apt to look at cute tight pants as much as I'm looking at their stats and how the team is doing overall and compared to their opponents. College is my favorite, but there's nothing like a Sunday pro game too. AAAAAH!

And with that in mind......... I have two pro teams to which I have pledged my allegiance: the Carolina Panthers and the Green Bay Packers. I've been a Packer-backer even when they sucked very badly in the late 70s/early 80s, so it wasn't just a Favre thing. (Matter of fact, I kind of hope Favre STAYS retired at last. The drama is useless, and he ought to know better.) And I've been a Panthers fan since the expansion. When it comes to it, I'm an NFC girl, and mostly the NFC South. I'll root for the Packers and whomever plays the Bears (ha!) in the NFC North. NFC West? Snore.

NFC East..... well, I've never had much of a favorite team..... of course, it's only recently been aligned the way it is now (last few years). When I was a kid, I was a Dallas fan..... but as St. Paul says, "When I was a child, I thought as a child, I reasoned as a child...... but now that I am a man, I put away childish things." Well, that and Jerry Jones unceremoniously dumping Tom Landry, the last of the true gentleman-coaches. And in the last few years, nothing has given me greater thrill than watching the 'Boys lose. But they've been replaced on the bottom of the NFC East rung by...........

The Philadelphia Eagles. And if you need to ask why, you have obviously been living under a rock or not watched the news in the last couple of days. Michael Vick has a LONG way to go to prove to me that he's a changed person. I think what bothers me most is referring to his crimes as a "mistake." Again, a mistake is leaving the iron or coffeepot on all day, or messing up a formula in a spreadsheet. Bankrolling an illegal activity, participating in it (and not just merely watching the dogfights), and killing the losers....... that's evil. Just plain evil. That's not a mistake, that's a deliberate disregard for God's creation. There's no amount of money that can get his PR back on track -- it will take years of concerted effort, of genuine remorse, and of owning up to what he did instead of glossing it over and calling it a "mistake." It was no mistake; it was a crime, both against society and against creation.

And until he decides to do so, I cannot support him or any team that takes him on. Let's hope that Tony Dungy (as his mentor) and Andy Reid (as his coach) will help him see the light.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Proud child of the 70s.

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You know, I was talking with some girlfriends recently. I mentioned that I had a cousin's wife whom I don't think I ever saw without a ciggie hanging out of her mouth from the time I can remember first seeing her until she passed a few years back. I also remarked that back in the 70s, when I was getting my vaccinations, etc. in my family doctor's office, he smoked in there. The whole office smelled of smoke and no one thought anything about it.

We rode around town in big ol' honkin' ugly woodgrain-paneled stationwagons. Without seat belts or car seats (car seats? you got out of those once you turned a year old!). Standing up in the passenger seat or sitting on the fold-down armrest. Riding our bikes all over town in the summer without parental supervision.... sometimes without direct parental knowledge (oopsie). Actually being encouraged to stay outside all day and NOT come home until called for a meal. Walking to the store for penny candy (only by then, 2 for a nickel) .... in my case, the Speedy Mart and Mr. Owen's store (OMG, does anyone else remember Astro Pops??)

Seeing the pictures of me in my Girl Scout uni with my other Brownie friends. Going to Camp Wabak...... oh my. Plaid. Plaid. Plaid. My orange-and-black rugby striped shirt for my 4th grade picture.

I'd love to hear some more of your 70s memories -- share them in the comments!!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Mistake or bad choice? and thoughts about the South

Okay, so the big sports story of the day is the "conditional reinstatement" of Michael Vick to the NFL --- provided there's a team that will take him. More on that in a second......

First, though, I was reading a commentary on MSNBC, and the author more or less suggested that it would have to be a Southern team that would take him ...... because after all, Southerners are more likely to shrug off dog-fighting as "boys being boys." Excuse the (multiple expletives deleted) out of me, but Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, dude????? Now, I realize there are Southerners (and I know a few) who would shrug it off -- kind of like saying, "That's just racing." But most of the ones I know would be highly incensed by the very idea. I knew a few "good ol' boys" when I was in high school -- heavy into outdoor sports (meaning, hunting and fishing). Most hunter/fishers I know would take better care of their hounds than any other animal. Hell, some of them might even treat their dogs better than they do their wives or girlfriends. The very idea of breeding an animal simply to fight for man's sport would be viewed as irresponsible at the mildest, unredeemable at worst.

Now, you all know I'm a dog lover -- and almost all other animals, save for the creepycrawlies and especially the slitherers. So what Vick did disgusts me to absolutely no end. The fact that he remains practically unrepentant is what sticks in my craw. He has yet to stand in front of the media and admit that he bred dogs to fight, bred them to kill, and killed the slower performers. He allowed female dogs to be tied to "rape stands" so that they could not get away, all in the name of breeding a stronger, meaner dog with a worse killer instinct. And he LIED about it to the federal investigators. And what does he call all those things? "Mistakes."

Hell no. A mistake is when you go off and leave the iron on at home. A mistake is an error in a formula on a spreadsheet. His actions could at easiest be labeled "bad choices." He has yet to own those choices. He has yet to say, "Yes, I chose to get involved in this horrendous thing. I chose to ally myself with guys I knew growing up who have no futures. I bankrolled the whole thing so they could roll with me, since I was making the big bucks. I thought I was above the law and could get away with it .... I figured they could never trace it back to me." Man up, Vick. Man up.

While I'm at it, I'm still pissed about the article assuming that Southerners are all (still) inbred racists who love nothing more than bloodsport. You know, I was thinking about this the other day with the whole Dr. Gates thing at Cambridge, Massachusetts. Where have most of the racial incidents of the last 20 years occurred? That's right. NOT IN THE SOUTH. Rodney King and later Reginald Denny? Los Angeles. I can't think of the guy's name, but it was the guy shot 41 times -- in New York City. Dr. Gates' arrest? New England. Folks, those places are way above the ol' Mason-Dixon line. Is there still racism in the South? I wouldn't doubt it. But I get so tired of the stereotype that all white Southerners are born to hate.

I'd better get off the soapbox. I'll stay here all night, otherwise.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Twelve years and 3 hours ago.....

My phone rang. It was my best friend, sounding horribly tired but happy: "Hey, just wanted to let you know, SHE'S HERE AT LAST!!!!" With those words, my godchild entered my life, long after she'd entered my heart. That happened when they called to tell me I was going to become a godmother.

It has been my delight, my honor, my privilege and my great joy to watch her grow and develop into a young woman. Being her godmother is a responsibility that I cherish and don't take lightly. It is my sincere hope that as the years continue to go by, she and I will be more than just godmother-godchild, but true friends as well.

Happy Birthday, Reebs! I hope you know how much you are loved!!!

Are there any answers??

I'm a bit stymied ...... around 2 weeks ago, I had bloodwork drawn for an FSH test. Those results came back just fine. So a week ago, they drew more blood for a TSH/T4 test (thyroid) ..... and those results came back fine.

I'm beginning to wonder if there are any answers to be had. I don't know anymore. I am stumped. My doctor is stumped. But I have to have answers ...... I have to get to the bottom of this mystery.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

My baby's first "sleepover"

We are going out of town this weekend, and are boarding Maddox for the first time since we got him. He was used to being boarded on weekends with his previous owners, but that was two years ago.

Last week, we had a minor issue with Maddox that gave us cause for concern: he growled twice at my mother. Not just a "hey nanny, something's going on behind you" kind of thing. It was looking right at her and decided something wasn't kosher about her. That is definitely not Maddox .... and especially given that my mother is his chief dogsitter! He even growled at my dad -- and he usually worships the ground my daddy walks on (wonder where he picked that up...). Dad popped his nose and said, "NO!" He looked at my dad like, "Huh? What happened?"

So I called the vet and they suggested bringing him in for a checkup.... just to make sure there was no medical issue. And luckily, there isn't. He apparently was just having a bad day.

I think part of it is that I take him for grooming at a large pet store, about a half-hour drive away, and by the time it's all said and done, it becomes a six-hour ordeal. He isn't crazy about long car rides, either. I think he gets motion sickness (more on "like owner, like pet" in a moment). So my mission became to find a groomer closer to home.

I found a lady only about 5 miles down the road, out in the country, who grooms, offers day-care, and boarding. We had planned to just take him down on Friday morning and have my brother pick him up Friday evening (since he is not able to join us for the vacation). As we discussed the Fourth and fireworks, Miss D mentioned that they don't have a lot of that out their way. My dad (who went with me to help handle Maddox) and I kind of looked at each other, smiled and said, "Uh, how much to board for 3 nights?"

I took Maddox to her tonight since we're leaving before she opens shop (and to help him get accustomed to their house). He went inside his crate where I had placed his bed and my pillowcase (for a familiar object from home). He whimpered -- not sure if it was because we were leaving and he sensed it .... or if it was the rabbit in the crate near him. He was excited about that. I can't wait for him to see their kitty-kitty.... (How he missed that, I will never know!)

When I heard the whimper, I had to leave. It was breaking my heart, and I had to get out before I took him out and screamed, "No, he's coming with us, no no no!" I know he can't.... but Miss D and her husband seemed to like him a lot.

So I am leaving him in their very capable hands. Miss D has been grooming, training, and showing dogs for nearly 30 years, and worked for a vet for 10-plus years. I know she will be good to my baby. It's just hard to leave...... I think this is the closest I will get to parenthood, so......

***

Now for the "like owner, like pet" stuff.

I have been having some medical issues, and last week had to have blood drawn for labwork. It turned out okay, but now they have decided to check my thyroid. Maddox has hypothyroidism (underperforming) ..... Now, I have heard that people and their pets begin to look alike. But I've never heard of people and their pets sharing a medical condition!!!

I'll find out my results of this test next week. URGH. If it's normal and they have to draw even more blood I will just scream.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

WHEEE!!!!

Yes, the minutiae of this day is boring. Imagine if I had a Twitter account. Mama has a new MP3 player -- a Creative Labs Mozaic 2GB in black. Thank you eBay in so many ways today.

More to come...........

Walking Each Other Home

​I wanted to share with you a thing of true beauty I saw today at church.  Let me preface it by saying while I am no fan of Clemson Universi...