I have an alter ego

Her name is Suzy Homemaker.

Suzy is a fiend in the kitchen. When Suzy takes over, watch out world. So what did Suzy come up with over the last few days?

1. Two appetizers for a Weight Watchers meeting, straight out of two of their cookbooks. The first is a granola-bar-like cookie. The other is a tartlet (phyllo shells) filled with caramelized onion, chopped Canadian bacon and some shredded reduced-fat Swiss. I thought for sure that at an early morning meeting more people would enjoy the cookie-ish dish. Flat wrong: I made 36 bars (um, Suzy made them, sorry!), and brought home about 24 or so. I made 40 tartlets and brought home... 10 or 12? Either way, they were good!

2. A coffee-braised beef roast with caramelized onions .... one word: a prolonged mmmmmmmm. Can't wait to take some into work tomorrow for lunch. Slurp.

3. My .... er, Suzy's .... famous mustard-chicken barbeque (pulled chicken). Remember, it is the South and barbecue is a NOUN, not a verb!!! "We're having a barbecue" in about 40 states translates down here to "We're cooking out/grilling (out)." This is done in the slow cooker with 3 ingredients. Suzy & I (ha ha) put 4 cups of the mix in the freezer for future use, as well as a cup & a half in the fridge for use this week. Mmmmm.

Suzy is about to work her magic on some ground chicken breast to create some burgers. Gotta think how I want them.... one patty each with different seasonings, or four just alike? I mean, one as teriyaki or another as chipotle lime and yet another with wasabi..... gotta think on this.

I am still alive and around....

Just been really busy and stressed and trying to be the duck.... you know, calm on the surface and paddling like hell underneath.

July has been strange, in many ways. Mom's health is still up-and-down, and my own health concerns have taken a backseat. My best friend's husband has been in the hospital most of the month so far, with difficulties from a recent surgery cropping up again. Work has been busy but at least not crazy-insanely so.

I can't think of much else to say right now. But I will write more after my day trip tomorrow to Alabama.

SO proud of them!

Congratulations to the University of South Carolina baseball team for winning the NCAA College World Series. I am not a USC alumna, but I love Gamecock sports. And I SOOOOOO enjoyed watching them claw their way to this championship.

They will forever be the champs, as well as the last team to win the CWS at Rosenblatt Stadium.

WONDERFUL job, Coach Tanner! FANTASTIC work, players! You make us all thrilled!

Best question I've heard in ages

So I was sitting in church this morning, conversing with a soprano in our choir, and we were talking about voting on Tuesday. I mentioned that I normally LOVE the campaign season but this particular one has done nothing but disgust me. Jane said, "Oh good, so answer this for me...... if everyone is such a conservative, exactly WHAT are we conserving?"

I had a brief moment of silence, and the cynic in me replied before I could shut myself up: "Conserving the idea that what's mine is mine, screw you."

But I'm right.

For all the talk of family values and moral fiber........ REALLY? When did selfishness and greed and isolationism and ignorance and "go back to your own kind" become a good thing? For all their talk of being good Christian people, and their photo ops outside of churches and their stories of how their deep faith and strong family saw them through..... no one has the testicular/ovarian fortitude to say, "None of what we stand for politically has any connection to the values I nod my head in assent to on Sundays." These things are NOT Gospel values, and I for one would love to see the candidates stop talking about how their values are good for SC. Values like that are not good for my state, or its people.

I'm all for bringing business to our state. God knows, we need it, but we're whoring ourselves out in tax breaks to get them here. And in doing so, we're mortgaging our public educational system (which God knows needs all the money it can get), and a million other projects that all need tax money to survive. "Uh Chief? Sorry, we're $18 million short on revenue, but hey we created 180 jobs!" Sure. 180 minimum-wage jobs or part-time jobs, or a combination of the two. We might as well just set up a jar on the nightstand and put a shingle on the statehouse steps advertising our going rates.

I'm all for reforming the immigration system, but I'm definitely NOT in favor of the "you ain't from around here, are ya boy?" attitude that is way too pervasive (and not just in my home state). It is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. No one is going to be entirely happy with whatever consensus and compromise is reached but ignoring it hasn't worked either.

So again...... just what are we conserving?

***

Speaking of conservative politicians, I don't agree with her politically, but I will say that I like the way Nikki Haley has handled the accusations and allegations slung her way. And you will never convince me that the Good Ol' Boy system here in good ol' South Cack isn't behind it because they're threatened by her: a strong woman, from a different cultural background, who wasn't brought up on a Protestant church bench from infancy up. And SHE of all people has actually had a very good response -- basically saying, "None of it's true, and I'm ignoring it and moving on." When South Carolina's latest embarrassing politician opened his idiot mouth (yeah, Jake Knotts, I mean you), and then said, "What's wrong, she can't take a joke?" he sounded more like a playground bully .... threatened by a girl who could kick his butt in short order and move on to the next one. Like I said, she and I will never see eye-to-eye on the issues, but I give her full props for not giving him the time of day ... almost could see her rolling her eyes and saying, "Well, one more idiot down, thousands of others to go."

For Memorial Day

This song just flat gets me, every single time. I cannot help but mist up listening to the lyrics and thinking of all those who make the ultimate sacrifice for my freedoms.

"No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." -- John 15:13

Funny things happened last night

I am slack. I know. You don't need to remind me of that! So what's going on in my world? Work, as always; hey, gotta pay the bills! WW training and work and meetings and sharing my story. Church meetings and workshops and events galore. Starting personal training and trying to get my body back on track.

Last night I had to stop by Wally on the way home. I had a coupon for a great snack and the only place I've found it is a Supercenter. I stopped at the one nearest work, got out my insulated bag and a couple of other bags for my goodies, and got to the checkout line. The girl was putting everything she could in the insulated bag, and then had just a couple of items for the other. I was glad that it only took 2 of the 3 bags I brought in -- and she looked at me and said, "That makes you happy?" (like, "Good Lord, girl, what kind of happy pills are YOU on?")

Well, yeah. It's a Friday night, I got mostly everything I needed to get me through the next week for food, and I remembered to bring my bags with me to the store (something I'm trying to get better about doing). It might not have been winning the lottery, but it was a good feeling. So YEAH, I was happy.

Then later on last night, I wore out my blender......... and sadly, not due to mixing margaritas. I wore it out with smoothies. Yes, please laugh about it because I have! Ol' Faithful could mix the liquids just fine, but when I put ice or solids into the blender, not so much anymore. I bought a much nicer replacement today, and it's got an "ice crusher" mode! WAHOO!!!! Even better? Bought it on closeout, saw it in another store later on today at TWICE the price I paid for it! SCHUH-WEEEEEEEEEEET!

Long time no blog....

At least not here. I have a couple of others (as you can see to the left), but lately, I've been woefully neglectful of all of them -- especially my original baby here.

April has been interesting and eventful. Easter came and went and it was just beautiful! I went on retreat with some ladies from church, and it was fantastic. It didn't last long enough, but does it ever? I joke about being a conspiracy theorist (not really, but....); however, I almost would have sworn some cosmic conspiracy was going on. After such a wonderful weekend, this past week has had more stress than you'd believe: car trouble (and being dependent on others for transportation for 2 days) ....... a family member's possible diagnosis of (ahem) "immaculate degeneration" -- to which I thought, "gee, how many family members have had this, and you're surprised you're next?" And, I just purely love the malapropism: immaculate degeneration is far more interesting than macular degeneration, whether age-related, hereditary or a little of both.... (SNORT!)

But you know -- life is good. Life is so good. I'm loved, I love others, I have a job, I have a vision, and while I can whine about minor annoyances, I truly have nothing to complain about! And that, my friends, is worth celebrating!!!!

Joy-driving: road-geekery of another kind!

Back when gas was a beautiful, lovely, blissful memory at $1.50 or less per gallon, I enjoyed nothing more on a Sunday afternoon than to get in my car and just go. I'd take the roads either previously untraveled, or partially traveled, and just follow them out as long as I could with the time I had, or until I found a road that I knew connected somewhere.......

Today, I was scheduled for a hair appointment about an hour from the house. The hairdresser is an old high school friend, and I am in need of some highlights, so I thought I'd give someone I knew a little of my business. We got some mixed signals, and she had a family emergency anyway, so we're going to reschedule. But in the meantime, it was a great opportunity to just go "joy-driving"!

What is "joy-driving" you may ask? It's when you hop in the car with nowhere in particular to be, go, do, no set time frame to complete anything in........ basically, just finding joy in being and seeing. So from the town where I was supposed to go, I ended up taking the road by my grandparents' graves (and had I not had a more "pressing concern" I'd have stopped for a while). I went into the next little town over, which I rarely visit, but it was nice to go there. I could have traveled four or five different ways to get home at that point, but I stuck to the main road. Once I got back to the next largest town in that area, I decided to go home yet another way that I rarely travel...... well, that, and I also had a bright idea to look for a bakery outlet store. I have become quite enamored of the new sandwich thins, and thought it'd be a great way to pick some up for a good price. I found a store, picked up the bread, and then stopped for lunch. (For thoughts on lunch, see my Weighty Matters blog).

From lunch, I turned onto a road I'd been meaning to travel for quite some time. Amazingly enough, it took me not far from where I would have come out anyway, had I stuck just to the main road..... actually, it carved off a good bit of it. And now, I have another connecting road, if I ever find myself out joy-driving, and can't figure where I am........

Such a gorgeous day and a lot of fun!!!

Happy Easter everyone!!!

For many years, I was part of an e-mail list for people involved in initiation ministry ... and now and again, one of the list members would occasionally say, "I often wonder just what we are initiating them into." This was usually said when HMC would do something just unexplainable or dumb or head-shaking. And I admit, I still think that on occasion ..... and especially after this week in the church.

Last night, I attended the Easter Vigil and every year, it never fails to move me. I do still occasionally ponder T's question: "Just what are we initiating them into?" And my answer would be: a flawed body that needs your brokenness to help make it whole. Broken as we are, we're still the ones responsible for carrying out Christ's work in the world. Insane as the institution can be, it is still the people who make the Church.

There's a great song by Michael Card that I had forgotten about until I played it on Good Friday. As many times as I've listened to the song, it was like rediscovering a great truth when I heard it again.......

The marks of death that God chose never to erase
The wounds of love's eternal marks
When the kingdom comes with its perfected sons
He will be known by the scars

It is because of the scars that we will be perfected. The love that caused the scars is what we celebrate in the Triduum. You cannot separate Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter. It is one event, so interwoven that you cannot place more importance to any segment over the others. Similar to Easter and Christmas. Without Christmas, there is no Easter .... but without Easter, why would you even need to celebrate Christmas?

Jesus Christ our light is risen; sound the trumpet of salvation! Surrexit Christus, alleluia; cantate Domino, alleluia!

He is risen: he is risen indeed!

And may we stay......

I was mulling this over at lunch today and planned to post about it. Mea culpa.

I cantored the 12:30 Mass today and was once again reminded that the kids in college are actually young enough to be my kids. Even the seniors -- gasp! I don't think of myself as old enough to be anyone's mother. I know, the mirror tells me differently, as do my license and birth certificate. My aching muscles were certainly letting me know it this morning. Somehow, in my mind, I still think of myself and my friends as forever young. And perhaps in a way we are.

We can't stop thinking of each other in those terms, no matter how hard we try. Even the ones who have been friends for years on end and seen each other through marriages, divorces, children, teens, all the important firsts...... somehow, we're all still a certain age to each other. For my college friends, we're all still around 25. We're out of college and just starting life and we're all still fresh-faced and fresh-brained. The mirror says 40, the mind says 27, and some days my spirit says 12.

And I think we keep each other young -- in the best way -- by doing that. We don't see the wrinkles, the crow's feet, the saggies, the burdens, or anything else. We're all still wonderfully young to each other.

Bob had it right: May we stay forever young!

I haven't forgotten

.... to make good on my travelogue for the Memphis trip. I have just been swamped, and it's not going to be any better until after Easter.

I'm still alive. Still kickin'. Hanging in, hanging out, and hanging on, to quote Tanya Tucker. (Boy, there's a phrase you don't hear or read every day...)

In the meantime I am working on a posting for both M&M and Weighty Matters (a cross-posting) that I hope you'll enjoy!

UPDATE: Here's the link to the PDF file of the newest playlist (along with comments - like you didn't expect those?)

What a weekend!!

Had a great time in Memphis! Will definitely blog more later about it, but I am so very happy for Stoney & Jennifer! They are a wonderful couple, and I wish them every blessing in their life together!

Things I need to change....

1. The number of hours in a day from 24 to 30, ON THE CONDITION that the other 6 hours must be used for me and only me, and at my discretion to do whatever I please......

2. My amount of sleep. I'm not getting enough and haven't for a while. I'm going to have to learn to manage my energies far better than I'm doing now. I've long been hard-wired to not fall asleep before 11:00, but if it takes Unisom by the truckload to get me on a better sleep schedule, I'll just have to renew my Sam's membership.

3. Letting the minor annoyances get to me. I don't know why they do but they do. Frankly, I'm growing tired of the "no wire hangers" sort of thing in myself.

I have a lot of things to work on....... where to start?

Snow. Snow. Snow.

For the fourth or fifth time this winter, we are having a "winter event"...... only this time, it actually did happen to us. Oh, we've had mild freezing rain and a dusting of snow the other times. And naturally there are always the predictions that never pan out for us (but 30 minutes north of us and oh yeah.....).

This time, it was for real. We got beautiful wet snow at the office, closed up a little early, and I drove home in a pretty snowfall, light and twinkling. I've driven in a couple of other snow events here in my adult life: both were quick and furious with huge flakes and driving winds. The difference between the two is an angry uncle-by-marriage who's stuck watching a gaggle of kids when he'd rather be at a monster truck rally with his buddies ..... and a sweet grandmother who just pulled your favorite cookies right out of the oven, so happy to see you that she can't wait to hug you!

Anyway, it cancelled some of my morning events, but not my afternoon ones. It will be in the upper 30s by noon, so no problems driving. By the time the events are done, it will not be dark yet, so it shouldn't be much trouble driving home.

And it made me think of where I was a year ago....... a beautiful mountain cabin nestled in the Monongahela National Forest of West Virginia. Oh my. It was a butt-cold but gorgeous weekend. Matter of fact, Fasnacht is tonight in Helvetia, and I wish them a beautiful day and pleasant evening (especially for the feast at The Hutte; don't forget your reservations!). We were just outside the Dolly Sods wilderness area, not too far from the Canaan Valley resort area..... I cannot begin to tell you just how beautiful that area is.

So I looked up the weather report for the Canaan Valley area this morning: as of right now, 19.2 degrees F; chances of snow: 90% today, 40% tomorrow, 70% Monday, 30% on Tuesday and Wednesday...... Oh, le sigh. Massive le sigh. I could use a snowbound weekend in a cabin in the middle of nowhere ...........

Again, my friends. Since not this year, perhaps next. But we will do this again. Somehow, someway.

Really? Really?

So I was perusing Facebook, as I am usually wont to do when I have a few moments. And I noticed one of the lovely ads off to the side: "For Classy Cougars Only!"

One of my cardinal rules in life has been this: things (or persons) which are self-described "classy" generally aren't. I want to say I got that idea from Lewis Grizzard and his description of a personals ad: "Classy SWF age 35-39, enjoys blah blah blah...." and how usually the woman who actually showed up was quite frequently the antithesis of class. I think of those glittery iron-on t-shirts from the 70s: a butterfly with "Classy Lady" detailed below it -- and usually worn by women with heavily bleached hair, eyes with enough liner and mascara to make Rocky Raccoon say, "Tone it down, sister!", and too often with a cig hanging out of their mouth with enough ash on it to rival Mt. St. Helen's. And usually yelling something to someone they knew or screaming at the kids that their daddy was gonna whoop their aaaaaaaassssssssssss (or for those who don't always drag out their words, that's "ass"). Or it also brings to mind a restaurant like "Klassy Kafe" ... usually, a great hangout for the Whiskey Tango crowd. I guess that's where I get the connotation.

And the whole cougar thing.... really? How did those of us who are single and of a certain age get saddled with this predatory moniker? Just because we have a little more confidence and self-awareness at this time in our lives doesn't automatically mean we are out there to pounce on the first willing 25-year-old guy who comes along. When I think "cougars," I think of my college mascot: a perfectly noble creature! When the real cougar goes on the hunt, it is for survival, not because he feels he can and is therefore entitled to. If it were a Far Side world, we would already have the National Large Feline Anti-Defamation League already working overtime on this......

Classy Cougar. If I ever describe myself this way, you'll know I've hit my head and given myself a bad case of brain damage. Feel free to pull a Cher moment: "SMACK! Snap out of it!" I will thank you for it. I promise.

I Love Rock 'n' Roll.....

but lately, I have been completely enthralled with AOL Radio's "Jazz Vocalists" to listen to while at work.

I think that when it comes to singing, if I were to ever attempt a career in vocal music at this late stage of the game, it would be jazz -- probably Great American Songbook type of things. I purely love when a Billie Holiday tune comes across..... oh my. And I have been floored -- in fact, beautifully pleasantly surprised -- by Renee Fleming.... yes, the operatic soprano has a mezzo voice for jazz that is phenomenal. I've discovered the music of Blossom Dearie other than what I grew up hearing on Schoolhouse Rock.... she's the one who sang about us unpacking our adjectives. Her version of "Someone To Watch Over Me" is absolutely endearing.

I catch myself walking around at work humming tunes and most of them are the jazz standards. Or I'll be singing something in the car and it's got a jazz feel to it. There's not a lot in life that I regret -- I don't like the idea of looking back and thinking "what if?" But these are the times I think, "Yeah, I should have been a vocal performance major."

As much as I completely love rock and pop, I couldn't have sung it. I don't have the grit in the voice. I probably could do indie/Americana stuff.... but it's not me. I do sing church music.... in church. (Just for the record -- attention haters and naysayers: choosing to keep my church music in church has ZERO to do with proving to ANYONE the depth of my love for Christ. God already knows. Now....)

But jazz/GAS stuff.... yeah, I could do that.

Le sigh.

I'm still alive, and well....

But I am here to tell you this: there is a special level of hell, one that Dante never imagined, for those who create malware, spyware, viruses, Trojan horses and all other manner of electronic evil. But at least, thank you to the guardian angels and patron saints of electronica, we're finally mostly rid of the crap.

More to come.........

My challenge.....

I haven't done much work on my New Year's Revolution -- at least in terms of actual written plans to increase my positivity. It's been a pretty busy couple of weeks at work and home, and I'm just getting into the swing of the post-holiday routine.

I think one of the things that might help me is to pick back up some hobbies that I had let slide by: pleasure reading, needlework, even writing or working on my short stories/novellas. I miss those things. So I have a stack of books waiting on me...... new needlework patterns were ordered and just arrived today ...... and the novellas/SS's are still on my computer, waiting patiently for my return.

I also plan to do is take more time for myself by reclaiming my Saturdays and Sunday afternoons for whatever *I* choose to do. Saturdays have become a day to do all the errands I can't get to during the week. That's not the way to spend every Saturday. Sundays, I'm usually so pooped I fall asleep in the recliner. Not a way to spend a Sunday either.

Getting myself together -- not a bad plan for 2010!

HAPPY 2010 EVERYONE!!!

2009 wasn't a bad year altogether, but I am so excited for what the new year will bring!

In a shameless moment of self-promotion, check out my "Revolutions, Not Resolutions" post over on Weighty Matters (my blog about weight, health, etc.). It kind of explains how I feel about resolutions from a health perspective .... and let's face it, at least 75% of most resolutions are all about losing weight, stopping smoking, getting on the workout bandwagon, etc. Anyway, my revolution plan for 2010 is to get a better attitude. While I try to lean to the positive, optimistic side, I see some negative tendencies I have and I don't like. I don't think they're the real me, and this year I need to improve myself in that area.

I guess you could call me a realistic optimist. I hope for the best, plan for the worst, and expect the same-old from people, events, and situations. I don't really want to be a sunshine-n-roses kind of person. That level of happy-happy-joy-joy just makes me itchy. I'm old enough to know that sometimes, life is gonna smack you around, that people are not always whom they present themselves to be, and that things just happen. But I also don't want to be a gloomy Gus or even a misanthrope (though there are times I would relish it, just for a few moments). I have had times when I've been surrounded by negative energy, and I hated those feelings. I felt absolutely horrific and I don't ever want to be in that place again either. So I like being balanced -- but I prefer to be more in the sunshine-n-roses end of the curve than the Eeyore side of the bell. I want to believe that people can surprise me with goodness. I want to focus more on the good things in life and less on those annoying little details that just pull you down.

So my goal for this weekend is to map out a 12-month plan. Tangible ways I can develop a better internal me. The last few years have been (and continue to be) about making the outer me better..... it's time to make the inner me stronger and better too. Oh, not that the external changes haven't helped with that -- Lord knows, I finally grew a backbone during all that time -- but it's time to focus on the internal things a little more closely.

Here's to 2010: better, stronger, faster!!! Oh, and friends? Ever forward!!!!

The swoooooon dive.....

On the advice of my physical therapist, I saw a vascular surgeon on Monday. No problems, no vein issues, just another ally as I continue to manage the lymphedema. As part of the checkup, they did an ultrasound of my veins. And during the procedure, they mash on your leg to check the blood flow.

Yeah, you can guess what happened. From the description they gave me later, it surely wasn't graceful and it wasn't a swooooon, but a good ol' headlong WHACK onto the .... well, I don't know if it was the floor, the ultrasound machine, the doctor.......

The doctor doing the ultrasound said I took a step forward, he grabbed my shirt to break my fall but came down to the floor with me. All I remember is standing up one second and being on the floor and having a team asking me, "Hello? Are you with us? Can you hear me?" The doctor I was supposed to consult with was helping too, and he was telling me about another fainting incident he was party to .... in Kansas City and involving one of the KC Chiefs players! YOW.

The only problem was that I couldn't stop upchucking, so they sent me for a CT scan. Luckily it was normal -- no bleeding in the brain, but they still sent me home with orders to not return to work until Wednesday. I apparently have a mild concussion, or else they are treating it as such, just to be safe. I also have a gorgeous cut at my eye and a beautiful bruise/goose egg on my left cheek. Not sure if that's from the floor or the ultrasound machine or what. It is a beaut.

I always say that when you wear yourself down to a nub, God has a way of making you rest whether you like it or not. Well, I wasn't quite to nub status (or at least I didn't think so), but wow, God.... this? :D

So I am heading into work today. There are things I absolutely have to do and cannot be done from here at home, so......... A good thought or two or a prayer or several are appreciated!