Sunday, December 09, 2007

The season is here.

Brag-n-Gag®, that is.

Now, I personally don't mind most yearly-update Christmas letters, because most of the ones I get are from my college friends. We're spread all over the state and sometimes cross-country. So those, I look forward to, and enjoy reading. I also send one out to them, and to a few other friends that I don't get to see or speak to regularly. And I include it to certain friends with whom I do converse on a regular basis.

But Brag-n-Gag® is a kind all its own...... they come straight from Lake Wobegon. Because you know that "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." It's the "oh look how WONDERFUL we are, how PERFECT everything is in our world, DON'T you wish you were US!" mentality in the letters that just make me howl and hurl.

There's the older relative that sends one, detailing all the wonderful things their grandchildren are doing and all the mahvelous places they've been (thank you, Lewis Grizzard; God rest your soul). This year's letter was no different .... the "highlight" was when they flippin' listed the various degrees and numbers obtained by their offspring, offsprings' spouses, and the grandchildren. And naturally, they mentioned all the mahvelous places they visited. Skzzzzzzz-snore.

I also get a yearly B&G from someone I knew in school (haven't gotten this year's yet.... can't wait). I apparently have been in the presence of the most perfect children since Christ himself walked the earth, and didn't know it. Academics? Sheer geniuses. Athletics? Leading scorers; team couldn't do without them. Other extra-curricular stuff? Nothing to it. I have a lot to say about that particular family and its dynamics, but not here.

Now, my best friend sends one that has me howling. It's intentionally funny, and worth every moment! I aspire to have one that funny!

I enjoy the updates, just be honest in them. So little Billy was suspended for four days for punching out the school bully -- GOOD FOR HIM! So little Jessica dropped out of ballet -- FANTASTIC! What difference does it make?

1 comment:

Talmadge G. said...

"Lake Wobegon" .... ohhhhh, shit.

You'll LOVE the B&G™ that's inside our card this year.

PS -- word verification is "logxo" Is that a toy from Ren & Stimpy that's been kissed and hugged to death by a grateful child on Christmas morning?