50 at 50: Soul Sisters

I've never seen a truer sentiment than this:



If there is anything I've learned in my nearly 50 trips around the sun, it's that you find your tribe and you love them hard. Your girlfriends are there for you when shoes and hearts break. They're there for you when you have buried your mama and your dog in the same year. They're there for you when you get the promotion -- and when you get passed over.

In my life, I've noticed that a good many of my girlfriends all share either being a oldest child who happens to be a daughter, or an only child who's a daughter. I think we vibe to each other because we know what it is (especially by now) to care for a sibling and later a parent. Often we've parented those siblings and sometimes those parents (even in younger years). We know how hard it is to make your way in the world in a culture that still treasures boy-children as kings just because of their anatomical makeup, and expects us girls to adjust accordingly.

My girlfriends were there during all the fights with my mom (from elementary school on), during crushes and getting crushed, during the breakups that devastated me. They've held my hand and literally wrapped their arms around me to keep me standing when I didn't have the strength to do so. They've cheered my successes and ate ice cream with me in my failures. And a select few also look at me and say, "Okay, girl, you have bullshitted yourself long enough. No more" and I know that they say it with every ounce of love in the universe.

Some of them made their way into my circle early on. Some left as more came in but I believe in U's instead of circles where everyone has a place..... and in circling up when it's warranted for my own protection. Some of them I have yet to lay physical eyes on -- even after almost 20 years -- but the magic of the Internet has made those barriers nothing.

If I could teach young girls these days anything, it's that their vibe attracts their tribe -- so be aware of what you're putting out into the universe. But when that tribe comes together, you hold onto them for as long as possible. Men will come and go but your girlfriends will feed your soul. You may not share DNA but they are your sisters.

To every one of my soul sisters -- and you are legion -- thank you from the bottom of my wounded but still beating heart, from a soul overflowing with gratitude.