Thursday, May 11, 2006

Petrified but proud.....

I bought a gift for myself tonight. If things go as they are supposed to with this gift, I will have given myself a longer, happier life. Seeing as how I'm 36, I'd love to get 64 more years on the deal.

I joined Weight Watchers.

I'm proud of myself. It takes an awful lot for me to ever admit that I need help with something. I'm one of those classic independent, stubborn people -- pulling myself up by my own bootstraps (so to speak) is something I pride myself on. For me to walk in that door, fill out the paperwork and -- the real horror -- stepping on that scale ..... well, it took ovaries, and I'm glad I had enough of them to do it.

Strangely enough, I am also absolutely scared crapless. I am scared of failing. I want so much for this to succeed. I really do. There wouldn't be many other alternatives except The Surgery -- and while some people have had great success with it, I would be the 1 out of the 200 who'd die. I know it. Can't prove it, but I know it.

I can't believe how excited and frightened, optimistic and scared I am. All this jumble of emotions.......

1 comment:

Talmadge G. said...

Speaking as someone else who possesses a great deal of those independent, prideful and stubborn qualities, that was quite a step.

Godspeed to you, my friend. But most importantly, if this doesn't work out, don't feel as though you failed. If it works for you, awesome ... if not, the best part is you tried it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. (pun not intended).

-TG