I listened to a CD this week that I hadn't put in the old machine for quite a while: Mary Chapin Carpenter's Stones in the Road. It has long been a favorite, but there was a long time that I just couldn't listen to it. It brought back memories I'd just as soon forget.
But this week, I felt compelled to listen again. I had been listening to the song "Jubilee" and remembered why that song attracted me. Yes, it still made me sad for all the things I connected to the song, but I also realized what a wonderful, hopeful song it is. So I decided to listen to the whole CD again.
I had to take it out after a couple of spin-throughs; it made me a little wistful. I realized how many various memories the songs brought back -- not just memories of the relationship but of various stages in my life. "House of Cards" reminds me of some of the less pleasant childhood memories -- too many cases of Mama being more worried about HER reputation than of whatever thing I was going through. If I heard "don't do anything to embarrass us" (meaning her) once, I heard it a dozen times. "Outside Looking In" hit a little too close to home too many times in my life .... and especially for the time I associate with this CD most. "John Doe No. 24" has always made me sad. I still love the "happy" songs on there -- "Shut Up & Kiss Me" and "Tender When I Want To Be" and especially "Jubilee."
It's also still one of my favorite CD's -- because it hits so close to home; because the songs aren't necessarily wrapped up in a pretty package; because there is no resolution. If you've never listened to it, do yourself a favor and listen.