Monday, August 20, 2007

I never imagined...

... I might actually look forward to my 20th year reunion.

Just this morning, I was pondering things while walking. I realized that I hadn't gotten anything on it, and wrote it off to "no news as good news." And then I realized I was disappointed by that thought.

Y'all know as well as anyone that high school reunions are not my thing. Here's why: I was a brainiac in high school. I was Miss Squeaky Clean, a total goody-two-shoes. The only vice I had was a smart mouth. I was also determined as all hell to get out of there and away from them. I had no idea that 5 years later I'd return to my hometown: no degree, no real career. Lots of living and lots of fun, but not what I had envisioned. In short, a failure, especially compared to my other brainiac classmates.

The 10-year was just awful. Some people hadn't changed very much since high school. In my own awkwardness, I took along The Goon as my date/conversation partner. I honestly did not know how to interact with these people -- people with whom I'd spent 12 years of my life. I was nice. I was polite. But I also found that the people in my class whom I didn't know all that well back then were the nice ones. The ones with whom I'd spent 12 years in a dog-eat-dog race..... well, let's just say I said my hellos, some of them said theirs, and we'll leave it there. A few of the people I really wanted to play catch-up with were no-shows. Dangit!

While walking tonight, I ran into two of my classmates, who immediately asked, "Did you get your stuff about the reunion?" It just went out over the weekend, so I should have mine soon. When they described what was going to happen (events from Friday night into Saturday), I found myself actually interested in going to these things...

Gasp.

I've decided to go. One, I'm proud of the person it took me 20 years to become, and especially in the last year or two. It's not just the weight -- although I am hugely proud of that. It's the whole me. It's finally being at ease with myself. It was something I didn't possess 10 years ago. It took an aching heartbreak, a betrayal or two, a humbling moment or several, and a lot of grace to get me to this point. Two, I could give forty craps if someone comes up to me and says, "So what do you do now?" There are some who will be genuinely interested, and some who'll do it for spite. God love the first group, and the devil take the second.

Does this mean I'm grown-up now?

3 comments:

Talmadge G. said...

"Proud of what took you 20 years to become"? As well you should be.

This reminds me that my TWENTY-FREAKIN'-FIFTH reunion is next year.

"At ease with myself" .... phew, I'm closer than I was 10 years ago, gawd knows I am; however, I still have a ways to go.

Go forth and have fun.

PS - you're only as 'grown-up' as you don't feel. Or is that the other way around?

Kate/Susan said...

Good for you, Annette!

I've gotten far enough to let some of those people be my MySpace friends.

Reunion? I guess I still have 6 years to worry about our 20th... Talk to you about it then :-)

Seraphim9 said...

At least you've been having class reunions. No one in my class has made much of an effort in the past 20 years to plan anything. Oh yeah, there was that attempt 3 years ago but nobody wanted to come to a "17th year class reunion". I even went to a couple of planning meetings for it. That was the closest thing to a reunion we had.....those of us who got together to try to plan the thing.

What fun that was - and of all people to be there was stuck-up little Barbara H. who I had to share a dorm room with this one year at band camp. Had that same snotty expression on her face that she had in high school, like I had just farted next to her or something. I'm so glad that *I* have matured over the years.

This year, I got a delayed invitation for a 20th reunion through classmates.com. A combination of the class of 1987 from two of the other three high schools in the area. Something that was apparently thrown together at the last moment. The registration deadline was a week away from the date I got the information in my email. $125 to go spend the day at at picnic pavilion at Chehaw Wild Animal Park. I don't think so. And I had a feeling that most of the people who would be there, I did not know well if at all. I'd also wager that the folks who pulled together and planned activities for this reunion probably forgot that they went to school with white folks (that sounds so racist I know, but if you are familiar with Albany, GA, you'd understand.).

I'll bet the food that was served was pretty good.

They were also planning some kind of cruise during this month, which I of course couldn't go on because I was still recuperating from surgery.

Well.....here's hoping for a 25th. In the meanwhile, I'll be whipping Talmadge into shape for his 25th next year. :)