"What makes you special is not a form of egotism; it's SOUL-ITISM. It's valuing what your soul is here to be and do."
For many years -- okay, most of my life -- I've been eternally soul-searching. There are days I feel I'm no closer to figuring out why I am here, what my "special purpose" is.... then there are days I think I'm on the verge of making that discovery and I need just one more piece to make it click into place and the light to come on and TADAAAA! angels will sing and harps will ... um, make that harp-y noise .... and you know. All that.
Or it may be that I've held that treasure in my hand the entire time and never recognized it as such.
What is it that makes me who I am?
I am an introvert, and I love to think. I love to ponder. I'm not sure that I ever get any closer to solving the world's problems, or even my own sometimes, but I get a lot of insight that helps me grow and do more.
I am an optimist at heart. I act rather cynical and sarcastic sometimes because I realize life shows us its ugly sides too many times. Yet I truly believe that most people are good, in their very essence, in the core of their being. We were created in goodness, we are meant to live in goodness and share light with everyone. And that's in whatever belief system we profess (or lack of belief system, whichever). Some things are just basic across every line. There are those who choose to toss away that seed of goodness in them, and it is heartbreaking to see. I'm not sure why they choose to disbelieve their inherent value and worth, but they do.
Because I am an optimist, I believe that I need to encourage others to look for the good in things and in others -- and especially in themselves. For so many years, I struggled (and still do) with self-worth, self-esteem. I always had to be perfect or it just didn't matter. Unless I was the best, I was nobody. The spaces and systems in which I lived at the time didn't lead me to believe that I was a person of worth regardless of what I accomplished. It has taken the rest of my life so far to wipe out those early years with that sort of thinking. And that's why I try to hard to share positive thoughts, quotes, posters, etc. I need those messages just as much as anyone.
Because of my struggles in so many arenas, I can share my story. You can take from it what you will. What helped me may not help you, or something that didn't work for me may work perfectly for you.
What skills do I possess? I could list specific things that I do in my daily life that I'm good at -- using specific programs or other tools from my work. Or I could list various statistics to show myself as more than a novice and not quite an expert. But honestly, it's not my skills but my gifts of which I'm most proud -- the ability to catch on to things fairly quickly; to look at things and spot patterns or trends; to change plans on a dime and not get dizzy.
I think 2013 will be the year I begin to toot my own horn. It's my year to expect the best in life and most especially in myself. Shouldn't we all?
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