Saturday, July 12, 2008

A tale of two Wallys

There are two Wallys within about 10 miles of my domicile.

One is pure hell on earth. When it was constructed, it was a huge Wally. Today, it's a SmallMart. It is the place where scientists should converge to study the vast genetic mutation that occurs in mothers and children who pass through the doors. Something in the metal framing, or the glass itself (who knows), causes children to lose their minds and their common sense, and causes mothers to yell something about beating them senseless. This phenomenon isn't limited simply to this particular Wally. God knows I've seen it happen in many others. I used to shop regularly at this Wally, but I have decided the only way I will shop there now is if I happen to be driving by at 3:00 AM, with a wound so severe that Wally is the only place I can buy a dressing for it. Or I am in dire need of auto parts at that hour. Otherwise, I avoid it like the plague.

The other is one of the nicer Wallys ever. It's in a small town, but it's a nice SuperCenter. The aisles are mostly spacious. It doesn't seem to be as crowded. I can't vouch for the genetic mutation factor either -- never seen it happen. It's in proximity to two college towns and is usually home to students, faculty and the general public (where the other .... well .... isn't). That might be a factor in the decided lack of WT population there, at least as a percentage.

Any surprise why I love the 2nd Wally more?

1 comment:

Talmadge Gleck said...

I don't think there are many of those first-gen "Small-Marts" left. The only one I can think of right offhand is the one in Tallassee, Ala. Same place as it was in 1981 when Sammy Boy bought the late, lamented Kuhn's Big K discount chain. I've never been in there, and truth be told I'm afraid to.

Then we have Wally, Rincon Style. Daytime, it's okay as far as they go, but after dark it's a different story. Graveyard shift is when all the Tiger Ridge "associates" all work.

For people like us, Wal-Mart is a necessary evil. But to our WT faction, a trip to Wal-Mart is always accompanied by angels singing on high, and entering those doors and seeing the door greeter as a big welcome sign to paradise on the beach. Sam's Choice root beer with a smiley-faced umbrella sticking out of it, anyone?

Every time I have to venture into our Stuporcenter at 1 in the morning, my teeth always feel loose and my mother starts looking awfully sexy......

word verification = myflsrmv Michigan snowbirds parked at Wally Worlds all over Florida in their Winnies.