Oh God. I AM an addict....

I was without a home 'Net connection for about a week. Long story, but suffice to say that I am back, and it couldn't come a moment sooner!!!!!

One foot on the brake, and one on the gas....

Okay, this post was inspired by a jam-up Jag I saw today. BEAUTIFUL deep red, and I only got a momentary look at it, but I bet it was awesome. Unfortunately, the person who was driving it was going 50 in a 55, in the passing lane.

I wanted to say, "Lady, if I had a Jag like that, and simply wanted to show it off to say to others, 'Oh, look! I have a Jag!' then I'd put it in my garage and charge admission. If you're gonna have a performance vehicle out on the highway, then by God, make it perform!!!!"

But then again, it wasn't just the Jag. It was practically every freakin' vehicle between work and home, from the Interstate, on through my exit off a US highway..... GRRRRRR!

Rush hour? HA!

Things that make me happy....

A phone call from a dear friend, just calling to catch up with me and say that she still thinks of me and wants to meet for dinner and giggles. (This lady is precious.... and I miss getting to see her).

Watching children just be themselves. Okay, up until the point they start screaming and caterwauling. Then they get un-cute.

Adam Sandler movies. Yes, I am a fan. My faves? Probably Happy Gilmore and The Waterboy. And The Wedding Singer. And 50 First Dates. Okay, most of them.......

Watching the "Mah-nah-mah-nah" clip from The Muppet Show. Heck, I'd smile even more if they showed episodes of the original Muppet Show again!

Leaving work and actually making it to the Interstate in under 5 minutes. Most days, it's impossible. When it happens, it's a thrill! BTW, on the way in to work -- 2 minutes from the I, tops.

Breyer's Butter Pecan Ice Cream. Especially when I am the first one into a new carton!

Having the place to myself for a while. Usually a week or so will do me (but it's terribly rare).

More to come later......

Channeling Julia Sugarbaker....

You know, it isn't often that something truly riles me... but this "Christian Exodus" crapola has done just that.

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, Carolina is my home. By Carolina, I mean both Upstate SC and Western North Carolina as well (I have ancestral roots there as well). Quite honestly, I've always felt that Eastern TN, NE Georgia, Western NC, and Upstate SC should sort of be its own state..... but that's another subject. Anyhow, Carolina is my home -- always has been, perhaps always will be. And yes, there are lots of times when I shake my head in bewilderment at some of the shenanigans that go on in this area. But when things are right, it can be paradise.

Therein lies the problem. What is sometimes paradise to one is another's hell. I for one do not want a bunch of outsiders coming in, thinking that they're going to turn my beloved paradise into some sort of Six Flags Over Jesus. And furthermore, to whiiiiiiiiiiine when things aren't like they were back in (insert 40 out of the remaining 49 states). Because I will be quite hard-pressed not to say, "Well, who invited your sorry, whiny, holier-than-thou, agitating, carpetbagging carcass into my paradise?" -- and a thousand other lines: "Delta's ready when you are." "I-85 -- goes north, goes south, take your pick and your bags with you too."

I tell you, it's making a move to Asheville NC (still in my area of Carolina) -- and best known as the Eastern Hippie Haven -- look better and better all the time. For whatever reason, Western NC seems to be more tolerant and open-minded (or at least sometimes).

GRRRRRRR! This whole thing just chaps my hide!

Peeved In Extremis (A Political Tirade)

Okay, I was clued in today by my pal Stacey about an article in our local fishwrapper. Seems there is a movement afoot to relocate a buttload of conservative Christians to my fair state in an effort to swing the political balance..... in effect, making SC a haven for conservative Christians. Kind of like, "Is Michigan getting too liberal for you? Move to SC -- where your prejudices and petty narrowmindedness will find the perfect home."

Well, first off, I'm thinking, HELLO? How much more conservative can you GET outside of South Carolina? The state that's been solidly red for the last 25 years? Home of Strom Thurmond? Both senators are GOP (now that ol' Strom has passed on and Fritz retired). If I want to elect most of my local leaders, I have to vote in the Republican primary (otherwise, I don't get a say in who's running for sheriff or county council or anything else).

Great God almighty, you can't get more "better red than dead" than good ol' SC.... what the hell do these people think they're coming in to change? HELLO?

Part of me wants to say, "Go ahead. Move in. I hope you find that South Carolinians are far more tolerant than you think. I hope you find they laugh in your faces. I hope you meet people who you think will jump right on your bandwagon, only to find they have NO interest at all in your views." Ooops.... better stop there before I launch into a chorus of "Sweet Home Alabama" redone as "Sweet Home Carolina." Actually, I do have Northern friends whom I love dearly. Furthermore, most of them would never do anything like this either.

There's the other part of me that wants to tell them to take their sorry azzes back to wherever it is that spawned them. The part that would sing "Sweet Home Carolina." I am Carolina born, Carolina bred, and if God is good, someday, I will be Carolina dead. My roots here are deep. My families arrived here in the Carolinas well over 200 years ago. Some came from places like Virginia, Pennsylvania, Maryland... others came from another land altogether. But they found it good and to their liking and stayed. And I have too. I love the South, and especially my home state (warts and all). And I will be damned if I see it turned into a haven for religious lunatics who think they can turn my beloved Carolina (North OR South) into their own private Idaho.... so to speak.

DIBS!!!!

When I get to heaven (eventually), I hereby claim first dibs on the official "Kick Eve's A$$ for Eternity" concession. I figure I'll have women from all generations lined up around the blocks (does heaven have blocks?) just for the chance.

Remember, FIRST KICK FREE! And I'm sure the dear won't mind. After all, she probably has had someone kicking it upon entry for millennia.....

The good things in life

With all the drama-rama that is the daily existence of my family life, I failed to give credit for the good things this weekend:

1. Celebrating the 8th birthday of my godchild. This week, I've gone back through 8 years of accumulated photos, and misted up at what a beautiful person she is becoming. It is mind-boggling to think that the sweet little child I first met at 6 weeks old is now 8, and one of the brightest lights in my life. She's smart, funny, and slightly crazy.... and there is nothing more precious than the sincere hug of an 8-year-old when you have given her something to make her day!

2. Getting carded! Yep, Godchild's mama and I got carded at her dinner celebration. As mah sister Wicked Witch commented, if we could bottle that feeling, we'd make a fortune. Especially since the end of my fourth decade on earth will be staring me in the face far sooner than I can even imagine..... (I did a whole discussion on the messageboard on that, called "A Larva Looks at 40").

3. Did I mention that my godchild's hugs are the best? And that her cousin gives awesome hugs too? And her brother?

4. Heh. I got carded!

Sometimes in the endless harangues and heated discussions, I forget how good things can be.... So I will come back to this post as a reminder.

Royal Decree

Okay, it's hotter than frickin' Hades in our house. But is our a/c on? NOOOOOOO! Because someone in the family is -- can you believe this??-- cold. The rest of us are in tanks, shorts, the thinnest materials known to man -- and we're roasting. But one family member is cold, and therefore the rest of us must suffer.

Oh, oh, oh!!!! Rejoice, oh sweaty ones! Ms. Iceberg has now relented. Even she could no longer stand it. AH! Sweet relief!

A moment to whine, por favor?

They took my monitor last week. It was heartbreaking. It was a lovely 17" flat-panel, with integrated speakers. It was just beautiful. They brought me a 14" -- YES! A 14" MONITOR -- with no speakers. Obviously, it's not a flat panel. I literally have to lean into my desk to see some stuff. That's not good for the eyes. I have been told my new monitor is on order. Be prepared -- wherever you are -- to hear whoops of joy when that happens!

That is all.

Inquiring minds wanna know...

Just a thought from the drive home..... Churches ought to be held to some sort of conventional naming standard such as (Phrase or Word 1) (Denominational Affiliation) Church. Like St. John's Catholic Church, Evening Shade United Methodist Church, Timbuktoo First Presbyterian Church, or even Route 44 Baptist Church.

Nondenominational? Say so. I'd much rather see "Rosewood Non-Denomational Church" instead of "Rosewood House of Worship Center." By calling it a "worship center" instead of a "church" that's supposed to be more attractive?

This one takes the cake! It's not the actual name of the church I pass sometimes on the way home, because I truly wouldn't want to embarrass them.... but it's dang close: Yahweh's Flock, Joy, Peace, Love and Deliverance Temple of the Lord. What the flip? The first thing I'd wonder is "What the heck kind of church is that? If I went there, would I be able to be the first one out the exit doors when they bring out the serpents?"

Look, just call yourself "Cooterville First Church of the Snake Handlers." That I can handle! GEEZ people!