Sunday, April 16, 2006

70s One Hit Wonders, Part Deux

"Nadia's Theme (The Young And The Restless)" by Barry DeVorzon and Perry Botkin, Jr. -- God help us all.

"The Night Chicago Died" by Paper Lace -- another book recommendation (if you've never read it) is Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs. In that, one of his readers mentions that the lyrics say that "Daddy was a cop on the East Side" ... and her response was "What? Daddy patrolled Lake Michigan?" I've never been able to listen to the song in the same way. Not that I was crazy about it before.....

"The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" by Vicki Lawrence -- yep. I remember this one pretty well.

"One Tin Soldier (The Legend of Billy Jack)" by Coven -- You know where I learned this one? BIBLE SCHOOL. Yes, the annual Methodist-Presbyterian Bible School in town, and I learned this one there, along with "They'll Know We Are Christians By Our Love." Apparently no one in town realized just how progressive the Methodists and Presbyterians were in the 70s.

"One Toke Over the Line" by Brewer and Shipley -- I love this song. When I was a kid, I honestly thought it was a semi-religious song. Well, he mentioned both Jesus and Mary. I later realized that he mighta THOUGHT he was having a religious experience. I think he forgot it was "puff-puff-GIVE! puff-puff-GIVE!"

"O-o-h Child" by The Five Stairsteps -- if I am having a lousy day, all I have to do is listen to this song, and I am better. I swear, it is the best pick-me-up song there is.

"Play that Funky Music" by Wild Cherry -- I will always love this song. Funny thing: at my 10 year reunion, they played all manner of 80s music, and not many people were on the dance floor. They put this song on, and the floor was packed.

"Playground in My Mind" by Clint Holmes -- oh my sweet Lord! The agony, the pain! Make it stop, make it stop!!!!

"Please Come to Boston" by Dave Loggins -- I happen to love this song. Another "Summer Memory Song" and one that I've always liked.

"Pop Muzik" by M -- not a bad song. My cousins and I had a long-running discussion about music one day at Granny's (no less!), and this song was mentioned a few times. I have no idea what we discussed or why, but I do remember this one being part of it.

"Popcorn" by Hot Butter -- brought to you by Orville Redenbacher.... :)

"Precious and Few" by Climax -- I wish that "precious and few" were the times they trotted this song outta mothballs.

"The Power of Gold" by (Dan Fogelberg and) Tim Weisberg (Fogelberg is not a one-hit wonder) -- I sort of remember when it first came out, and over the years as I have heard it on occasion, I have grown to like it. But then again, I like Fogelberg (there. I said it).

"Put Your Hand In The Hand" by Ocean -- I remember this one well. We sang it at church, too. And my mother says I used to love it when it came on the radio. I can still sing it.

"Rainbow Connection" by Kermit the Frog -- Sorry, Tal. I like this one. But then again, I've always had a thing for Kermy......

"The Rapper" by Jaggerz -- bleh. Moving on.

"Reflections of My Life" by Marmalade -- okay, it's sappy and drippy, and makes you want to climb to the top of a tower and threaten bodily harm to yourself. But I still find myself listening to it whenever it comes on. Has a Hollies-like sound to it.

"Ride Captain Ride" by The Blues Image -- Love it. Always have. Always will.

"Right Place Wrong Time" by Dr. John -- great artist, and good song!

"Ring My Bell" by Anita Ward -- another great dance song.

"Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo" by Rick Derringer -- another one that's been B2AC (burned to a crisp) on classic rock stations.

"Rock On" by David Essex -- well, I like it a whole lot more than the weasely 80s remake by Michael Damian!

"Rose Garden" by Lynn Anderson -- I beg YOUR pardon. Smarmy, snarky and silly.

"Satin Sheets" by Jeanne Pruett -- Lord, I figured this one had been around longer than the 70s. Another "money isn't everything" song. Snore.

"Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jacks -- The worst song of the 70s. Had America partaken of the brown acid? Did they get aholt of some paraquat-laden Colombian? SHEEEESH! But there was a damn good parody in 1987 re the PTL scandal, set to this tune: "We had joy, we had fun / We had condos in the sun / And we won't go to hell / 'cause we gave to PTL!"

"Shaving Cream" by Benny Bell -- loved this novelty song. Kiss-FM (back in the 80s) was a Top 40 station, and were known for having a bit of a raucous morning show (hey, it wasn't Stern, but for this area....). "Shaving Cream," "Peter the Meter Reader," "Telephone Man," and Kip Adotta's "Wet Dream" were among the classics they played. God, I miss them.

"Smiling Faces Sometimes" by The Undisputed Truth -- great soul song, and true words.

"Smoke From a Distant Fire" by Sanford/Townsend Band -- one of my very favorite songs from the 70s. Awesome, awesome, awesome!

"Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum -- the ultimate one-hit wonder from the 70s. The guy dropped off the face of the earth and was found running a goat farm in California ... or something like that. Hey, he was true to his ideals, when many of the hippies got corporate jobs once they hit 30. I give the guy credit.

"Stumblin' In" by Suzi Quatro and Chris Norman -- oh my!!! Fond summer memories of this one. Suzi had just finished her stint as Leather Tuscadero. I still love this song. Dadgum shame that she didn't get as much exposure here in the US as she got in the UK and Europe. She's practically a rock goddess there.

"Sunshine" by Jonathan Edwards -- love this song. I remember as a kid being a little shocked by the line "I'll be damned if he'll run mine...." Then again, you gotta remember, I was raised Pentecostal. I was lucky that my folks didn't make me turn the station whenever the song played. Funny ... now that I think about it, they never said boo about the word. Hmm.

"Teddy Bear" by Red Sovine -- oh God. Another poor dying child communicates via the CB song. Red Sovine, king of trucker music.

"Telephone Man" by Meri Wilson -- singing "hey lolly lolly, hey lolly lolly!" (see "Shaving Cream," above).

"Third Rate Romance" by The Amazing Rhythm Aces -- I love this song. I loved Sammy Kershaw's cover in the 90s. Great song!

"Tighter, Tighter" by Alive and Kicking -- if I'm not mistaken, produced by Tommy James. Good song!

"Timothy" by Buoys -- a song about cannibalism (maybe...) hits the Top 40. Written by Rupert Holmes, who also brought us a song about some tropical drink.

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield -- I still get chills to hear this song.....

"Turn The Beat Around" by Vicki Sue Robinson -- an awesome dance tune!

"Undercover Angel" by Alan O'Day -- Not a bad song. I remember there being a bit of controversy in the late 80s from fundy preachers who claimed that the song promoted homosexuality.... see, if all angels are of the male persuasion, and Mr. O'Day made love to one, then...... Idjits!

"Vehicle" by The Ides of March -- awesome rockin' tune!

"Venus" by Shocking Blue -- ehhhhhhh. I can take or leave this one. I got very accustomed to the Bananarama version. Either way, the song itself helped me tremendously in the summer of '86. It set the mood for my study of mythology as part of my AP Summer Reading List.

"Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles -- HA! This one ISN'T from the 80s. But it does have the distinction of being MTV's first video played in 1981. Of course, that was back when MTV actually PLAYED videos. When was the last time they did that for 24 hours?!?!?!

"The Wedding Song (There Is Love)" by Paul Stookey -- GAAAAAAG! I hate this song. I'm so glad that at the weddings I've sung in, NO ONE has asked me to do this one. Thank you, Lord, for small miracles.

"Welcome Back" by John Sebastian -- didn't they do a TV show about this song? ;)

"What You Won't Do for Love" by Bobby Caldwell -- now THIS is a fine, fine song, and I never tire of hearing it. When I was 8, I went to bed early with a horrible headache (probably a migraine, but I didn't know it then). Light bothered me, but sound did not. My mother let me go to sleep on their bed, and turned on the radio. There was a soft blue light (from the display) that emanated the room, and this song was on. Thoughts of my headache immediately vanished in the wonder of how that room was transformed. I learned then the power that music had to create a mood ... and I still adore that song! So thank you, Bobby Caldwell, wherever you are.

"The White Knight" by Cledus Maggard and the Citizen's Band -- oh my GOD!!!! I had this one on 45, and I played it over and over and over, along with "Convoy" (and why wasn't THAT one listed on Wiki's list!?). Ah, the CB craze......

"Wildflower" by Skylark -- yuck. Just yuck.

"Woman to Woman" by Shirley Brown -- hmm. Didn't Barbara Mandrell remake this one too? So much for being country when country wasn't cool.......

"Yellow River" by Christie -- written by I.P. Daily.

"You Light Up My Life" by Debby Boone -- Okay, TIED with "Seasons in the Sun" for worst dreck ever. GAAAAAAAG!!!!!!!

3 comments:

Seraphim9 said...

" "The Wedding Song (There Is Love)" by Paul Stookey -- GAAAAAAG! I hate this song. I'm so glad that at the weddings I've sung in, NO ONE has asked me to do this one. Thank you, Lord, for small miracles."

Note to Talmadge and self: Perhaps we should not mention to Nettiemac that this song was on the Gleck Wedding Playlist. Reckon we should now be thankful that the pianist didn't know how to play it.....



-SG

nettiemac said...

WHOOPS! Uh-oh.....

I think I had heard it sung so badly in other weddings (and even as high school pageant talent portions) that it just turned me off to the song forever.

Talmadge G. said...

"The Night Chicago Died" by Paper Lace
Meanwhile, 106 miles away at the Palace Hotel Ballroom..........

"The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" by Vicki Lawrence
Every time the lights go out in Rincon, Georgia, I fear the lovely off-dulcet tones of my wife getting ready to sing me yet another song. (see below)

"One Tin Soldier (The Legend of Billy Jack)" by Coven
-- You know where I learned this one? BIBLE SCHOOL.

I have a feeling the Methodists® today would rather teach "Highway to Hell" or "Running With the Devil" than "One Tin Soldier." Unfortunately, the latter sums up too well the attitudes exhibited by a disturing plurality of God's fan club.

"One Toke Over the Line" by Brewer and Shipley
There is only one song my mother ever censored - i.e. changed the station any time it came on the radio: Ringo Starr's "The No No Song."

So why come Mom didn't bat an eye when OTOTL came on the radio way back when? One of the stations in Huntsville had it in hot rotation back in '71. (of course, it never went near being played in Tupelo, surprise surprise)

"O-o-h Child" by The Five Stairsteps
Nice group of Chicago-based Jackson 5ive wannabees.
And the song? Very nice. More memories of coming-of-age days in north Alabama.

"Play that Funky Music" by Wild Cherry
Sorry, but I gotta break ranks here. I use'ta like it, but it got burnt.

"Playground in My Mind" by Clint Holmes
Why? Dear Lord, Why? Michael and Cindy got married. They had "a baby or two." Well, actually Cindy squeezed out three. Michael wasn't daddy of #3. Michael divorced Cindy. Court battle was ugly.

And Michael and Cindy do more than let their kids visit their grandma: Grandma has custody of the kids!

And sorry, Mike, you're gonna need a lot more than a nickel for all that child support.

"Pop Muzik" by M
Yeah. For the camp value alone.

"Popcorn" by Hot Butter
Actually, in 1969 Orville had departed this group in a display of prima donna ego that would've put David Lee Roth to shame.

Hot Butter got a new lead singer, a Vietnam vet who went by the name Colonel Butter, and plugged on until they scored a record deal with Jiffy Pop Records.

After their bubble burst, a guy named Michael Wave -- head of an obscure label called ACT II -- discovered 'em in the salt mines of the Comfort Inn lounge in Provo, Utah.

My question is, were kids who wore braces in 1972 not allowed to buy this record?

"Precious and Few" by Climax
True WTUP story: the song was allowed. But the DJ was verboten from saying who sang it.

"The Power of Gold"
This doesn't belong here. Tim Weisburg - the flutist who collaborated with Fogelburg here - was a GUEST. This was DAN F.'s record label (Full Moon/Epic). Tim Weisburg recorded for A&M Records.

But it doesn't change the fact that I liked the song then, I like it now, and wish it had charted higher.
(best cut on the album: "Tell Me To My Face")

The name of the album was "Twin Sons of Different Mothers." (1978) On the cover are the two, and they look remarkably similar.

In 1995 they'd reunite for another album: "No Resemblence Whatsoever." The album cover - a parody of TSODM -- is sheer genius.

"Rainbow Connection" by Kermit the Frog
-- Sorry, Tal. I like this one. But then again, I've always had a thing for Kermy.....

[Talmadge Gleck has just gone into severe cerebral and gastric spasms just thinking about this song. Please check back in ten minutes.]

"The Rapper" by Jaggerz
Another "early coming-of-age" classic. (Methinks I sense another K-"TAL" anthology brewing)

The lead singer was one Donnie Iris, whom a decade later would give us such wonderful underrated pop treasures as "Ah! Leah!", "My Girl", and "Love is Like a Rock."

"Reflections of My Life" by Marmalade
-- okay, it's sappy and drippy

Yes, it is. But I don't care. I like it a lot. Yet another hit to add to the 1969-71 K-TAL "Coming-Of-Age Classics" anthology.

You can find it at Woolco.

"Ride Captain Ride" by The Blues Image
-- Love it. Always have. Always will.

Same here. Same here. Same here.
The opening along gushes sheer MAGIC, especially when heard on AM radio. It came out in 1970, so it would be a "Coming of Age" reckid.

I love that song.

"Ring My Bell" by Anita Ward
One huge reason the AOR bells were tolling for thy self in 1979.

"Rose Garden" by Lynn Anderson
-- I beg YOUR pardon. Smarmy, snarky and silly.

MEMO
TO: Billy Sherill
FROM: Music Row
RE: Invervention

Dammit, Billy, you've taken this "Countrypolitan" thing TOO FAR this time. The next time we see one single orchestral catgut in your recording studio, we're gonna string you up faster than you can say Faron Young.
###

Did you know that Lynn A. has a tea named after her: "Lynn Anderson Rose" Now I like Lipton flow-thru bags even more!

Some Googling on Miz Lynn also shows her to have a DUI on her record. Nice.

"Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jacks
No. No. NO. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME LISTEN.

Worst hit of the '70s? Maybe. I think there might be equally worthy candidates (e.g. "Feelings", "Playground In My Mind", "Top of the World") to make this a real photo-finish.

"Shaving Cream" by Benny Bell
Dr. Demento remade this song in the early '80s, adding some "bonus" lyrics. Funny thing, it was only recently that I'd heard the original for the first time.

"Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum
-- the ultimate one-hit wonder from the 70s.

And I love it. And the "Coming of Age" hits keep on comin'....

"Stumblin' In" by Suzi Quatro and Chris Norman
-- oh my!!!

"Oh NO!!" is more like it. :-D

"Sunshine" by Jonathan Edwards
-- ...I remember as a kid
being a little shocked by the line "I'll be damned if he'll run
mine...."

I think there might've been an alternate edit where the word "damn" was replaced by "dang." Don't know for sure, and it might be a figment of my imagination. Or it might've been the WTUP aural brown acid.

"Teddy Bear" by Red Sovine
Be back in a few minutes. I feel a crying jag comin' on.

Then again, that song ain't worth the salt in my tears. (no, wait, that belongs on the *'80s* list)

"Telephone Man" by Meri Wilson
...who died in a car accident in Americus, Ga., where she landed after Mr. Southern Bell and Peter of Georgia Power collectively dumped her do-lolly shickey-bum.

What if a BellSouth truck had caused Meri's fatal accident? Sorry, but I'm a sick fan of irony.

"Third Rate Romance" by The Amazing Rhythm Aces
Sad, But True, Talmadge Factoid: Every time I get a motel room, as I come out of the office and into the breezeway toward my car, I always find myself singing under my breath: "he came back with the keeeeeyyy..."

"Tighter, Tighter" by Alive and Kicking
-- if I'm not mistaken, produced
by Tommy James. Good song!

Yes, it was indeed a Tommy James production. Same record label (Roulette), too. This one might well lead off the (now I MUST put together) "Coming of Age" CD. This song is one which brings back the idyllic pocket of time in Madison, Ala.

"Timothy" by Buoys
-- a song about cannibalism (maybe...)

The lyrics clearly point to that topic. Another song I heard frequently on Huntsville radio. I don't think Mom (or Gran Lera, for that matter) even realized what it was about. The song itself is too perfect and poppy.

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield
I like it. Especially the album-length version. The edited-for-radio 45 mix does nothing for me.

And it's here I'm reminded of another one-hit wonder that's missing from this list: Kraftwerk's "Autobahn." Three minutes for radio, but 20+ minutes for the album. An early techno masterpiece.

"Turn The Beat Around" by Vicki Sue Robinson
NEW! FROM K-TAL! "LIKE IT FOR ME!"
OVER 100 OF THE SONGS TALMADGE GLECK CANNOT STAND, BUT WILL GRACIOUSLY ALLOW *YOU* TO ENJOY. RECORD, $9.99, WAX CYLINDER $2.99!

"Vehicle" by The Ides of March
-- awesome rockin' tune!

Yeah. Also from the "Coming of Age" file. (there seems to be a lot of 1970-71ers here)

MEMO
TO: David Clayton Thomas
CC: Rest of Blood, Sweat & Tears
FROM: Your Lawyer
RE: Possible financial bonanza

May I suggest going after these Ides of March guys for flagrant plagiarism??? Jim Peterik even has your voice down.

I smell the biggest scandal since George "Do Lang, Do Lang, Do Lang" Harrison!
###

"Venus" by Shocking Blue
One of the first songs I ever remember hearing. Nettiemac, you really need to hear this song in sparkling MONO, with full, hot compression on a vintage AM aircheck ... FM and stereo actually diminish its magic.

"Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles
-- HA! This one ISN'T from the 80s. But it does have the distinction of being MTV's first video played in 1981.

That's why I don't get my anal-retentive tights in a wad whenever I hear it on an ‘80s music show. It came out in mid 1979, but its historical significance in regard to MTV effectively makes it an ‘80s hit.

"The Wedding Song (There Is Love)" by Paul Stookey
Mr. Yarrow and Miss Travers were over in the corner of the recording
studio, trying to stifle a bad case of the chuckles.

And for the record, I was on the fence about this one being on the Tal-N-Sera Big 30 Wedding Survey.

The angel on my shoulder was saying, "But Talmadge, you feel everything in this song. You LOVE Seraphim. She's worth it." The devil rebutted, "IT REACHES FOR THE PINK PACKETS, YOU PANSY. IT'S LAME. IT'S TERRIBLE. IT SUCKS, BEAVIS."

The angel said, "Oh gosh! The fruitin' piano player doesn't know it." *POOF*

Devil: "You HOMO!" *POOF*

"What You Won't Do for Love" by Bobby Caldwell
When I go on my occasional diatribes about how 1978 and 1979 should be ripped out of top-40 history like a malignant mole, it's always when I forget this baby exists with the bathwater. If I made a top ten list of favorite pop songs of 8th grade, WYWDFL would certainly make the cut.

"The White Knight" by Cledus Maggard and the Citizen's Band
A 23-channel record in a 40-channel world.

....along with "Convoy" (and why wasn't THAT one listed on Wiki's list!?).
Because C.W. McCall had another top 40 single: "Wolf Creek Pass" And BARELY at that (peaked at #40).

"Wildflower" by Skylark
They are free and gentle flowers, all mowed dowwwwwwwwwwn..... (DAMN YOU, GDOT highway maintenance!!)

"Woman to Woman" by Shirley Brown
-- hmm. Didn't Barbara Mandrell remake this one too?

Yes, unfortunately. I'd like to rework lyrics to that song, where the two get together for coffee, compare notes, become best friends ... and then start playing serious head games with Mr. Two-Timer.

"Yellow River" by Christie
-- written by I.P. Daily.

...and produced by T. T. "Whiz" Golden

"You Light Up My Life" by Debby Boone
One night, when we had a power outage, sweet wifely one reached for the flashlight beside the bed, turned it on and began serenading me with this song.

It's the only time I've ever entertained divorce. (P.S. to Seraphim: Don't EVER do that AGAIN!!)

Man, this was long.

--Talmadge "Gotta get crackin' on those K-TAL collections" Gleck