I decided a couple of weeks ago to try the world of dating again, via online dating sites.
I truly suck at dating. Quite honestly, it's something where I have very little experience. I didn't date in high school -- academics were my boon companion. I rarely dated in college; I was part of a larger group and being with them satisfied most of my social needs. After college, I dated a certain person (if you know me, you know his nickname) for nearly five years. But our dates were certainly never labeled as such; then again, neither was our relationship (until its demise). Almost from the outset, we were exclusive -- so I didn't really learn the fine art of dating.
Back when I was in the relationship, I went out on a date -- hey, I didn't know I was in a relationship; cut me some slack. It was a weird date. It wasn't really so much a date-date as "hey let's meet for dinner." He was newly single, I was single. We spent 3 hours talking. Correction: he spent 3 hours talking. My pal Bolivar says I'm a talker -- buddy, you ought to have met THIS guy. I could barely get a word in. It's a good thing we never really clicked; we were very much opposites in many ways -- politics, viewpoints, etc. At the time, I was very clear in what I did not want in a future relationship -- and he fell short in just about all the categories. We corresponded a few times after that, but drifted apart.
A few years back, I went on a couple of dates with a set-up. The first date was less than thrilling, and why I agreed to a second one .... who knows? Again, it was someone who was so far off the mark of what I was looking for. I had softened my stance on a couple of things that were oh-so-dreadfully important in my mid-twenties .... and he still fell way short.
So why am I trying again? To be honest, I don't know. I've been fairly happy as a solo artist these last few years. I've used the time to work on myself, to truly learn to love myself for who I am, where I am. But there are the moments -- those awful times in the wee small hours of the morning -- when I wish with all my heart and soul to be half of a duo.
And I'm still incredibly particular -- and I refuse to settle. That alone is a big reason that I'm still a singleton. I watched people I knew early in life finally connect with their "special someone" -- and yet I felt on some level that they settled..... I know, a rotten thing to think, but in some cases it was true. And I also came to realize that I did some settling myself -- which is why I will not do it again.
So I signed up with a couple of Catholic sites -- I'd love to date a nice Catholic boy, but it's not 100% essential. If I do date a nice Catholic boy, I do not want a "Stepford Catholic"; oh no-sir-ree-Bob! I want someone with a brain who wants to use it. I want someone with a heart, a soul, and a few other vital working organs. I don't want a horndog but I definitely do not want a prude either.
I'm picky and proud ... surely there's someone out there who can appreciate that!!