Wednesday, January 18, 2006

OHHHH! My head hurts.....

From laughing so dang much at this year's "American Idol" wannabes. I'm not talking the good ones who get those little yellow slips and a trip to Hollywood. I'm talking about the ones who make me think, "Oh My God. Please tell me that when I sing I never sound that bad....."

From Tuesday night:
Crazy Dave: Somebody give that boy an IV of Ritalin ..... PLEASE!
Miss Ukraine: forgot her pole, didn't she?
Everyone who attempted to sing "Lady Marmalade": HOLY CHEEYET, people! Learn the words!!! Mocha Choca Latte?????

From tonight:
Mr. Weird Outfits (the "entrepruhhhhneeurr"): Dude. Seriously? Holy Jeez.....
Mr. Coaster Inventor: You seriously chose "If I Only Had a Brain"??????
Everyone who attempted a Paula Abdul song: You gotta be chittin me......

I wish to God's sake they had "Older Idol" -- I'd go and try out and see whether or not I have what it takes. That's all.


jazzi said...

And what about Zack.....hmmmm, maybe he should be coming to the parade.

Seraphim9 said...

I can't help but think- the few times that I have actually watched American Idol - that if many of the people who actually got on the show sound so badly, JUST HOW BAD were the ones who didn't even make it past the front doors??? Would they make even your casino boat karaoke partner sound like a Grammy nominee?

I'm curious to know your opinion of Simon Coward regarding his comment made to the contestant that she should lose some weight.


nettiemac said...

Hey Sera, honestly, I missed that comment... there was one point where we missed a portion of Tuesday night's because we were at a cousin's house. So that may be part of what I missed. I wonder why he said that ... they didn't say it to Frenchie Davis.

Seraphim9 said...

I myself didn't see this one, but is was during the second season, and the contestant was Vanessa Olivarez. Basically, what he said was that she would do better in the competition if she would lose weight.

Now, as a BBW I took offense to that statement because this is supposed to be a *talent* competition, right? It's not freakin' Miss America! I've seen photos of Vanessa and she's just a cutie. I would LOVE to look like her!


bolivar said...

I admit that I do not watch that show. Having a no-talent like Paula Abdul judging on whether or not I have talent - where do I sign up?

As far as Simon Coward - the last name fits perfectly for him. I read an article where he criticized Bob Dylan. Let me tell you something Simon, you coward - you are not worthy to tie Dylan's shoelaces, son. One other thing - in a few years, people will be asking, "Simon who?" Meanwhile, Dylan will continue to make classic albums & songs.

It really depresses me when you look at the Billboard top-40 album charts & see "American Idol" winners and rejects among the top of the charts. Meanwhile, entertainers we've loved for so many years have a hard time making a dent on the charts.

Oh yeah, I remember when Simon made that statement to Vanessa Olivarez about losing some weight. Never mind that she had a killer voice - no, according to Simon, it's all about the weight. I wonder what he thinks about Aretha Franklin or Annie Wilson, two of the greatest female voices of all time.

Well, Simon, first of all, I look a lot more handsome on my worst day than you do on your best. And secondly, you just might be the most shallow person on the face of the earth. The one thing you have that, sadly, I don't, is money. I swear, after "Idol" runs its course, you will be forgotten.

I wish that an "Older Idol" would come on. I thought about entering that, but I just can not hold a candle to Nettiemac. I would be eliminated so fast it would make your head spin.

I realize a lot of people like "American Idol". I flat-out don't. But to each their own. Fortunately, an invention was made several years back to prevent this problem. It's called a remote control, and watch how fast I reach for it every time "Idol" comes on.

And as for people that Simon would categorize as big - people like Aretha, Annie, Christopher Cross, Leslie West, Meat Loaf, the late great Luther Vandross, the late great Mama Cass - the only thing I have to say is this: ROCK ON.

nettiemac said...

Bolivar wrote:
I wish that an "Older Idol" would come on. I thought about entering that, but I just can not hold a candle to Nettiemac. I would be eliminated so fast it would make your head spin.

I don't know -- I bet our "Paradise" rendition would have them standing & clapping and BEGGING for command performances!

Talmadge G. said...

The bigger the body, the more power to the larnyx. Aretha. Annie. Cass. Bol, you list some great examples.

And, as we know from the old adage, skinny vocalists determine absolutely nada about an opera's duration.

So there.

--Talmadge "The Bigger the Cushion, the Har....ummm, never mind" Gleck