Thursday, January 12, 2006

Today is the day...

Let's just suffice it to say that today was a less-than-stellar day in my world, but I came to some realizations on the drive home that I wanted to share. Thanks in advance for indulging me.

Today I choose to break the cycle.

Today I choose not to listen to that tape loop in my head -- the one that tells me that I'm not smart enough or good enough or (whatever) enough. The tape player may never go away for good, but today I'm no longer choosing to push "play."

Today I surrender the stubborn side of my independent streak -- the one that says asking for help is a sign of weakness, and accepting help when offered equals failure. I instead choose to accept said help because it means someone cares that I'm shouldering too much for my own good, and I choose to ask for help when I'm bogged down.

Today I embrace all the good things that my friends and coworkers and other loved ones say about me -- and not to summarily dismiss it by saying, "Yeah, but that's because they're my (friend, coworker, etc.)"

Today I accept that I do not know everything. I cannot do everything. I cannot be all things to all people. I accept that I must pick and choose -- and learn to pick-and-choose wisely.

Today I choose to ignore those who feel it their duty to attempt to break my spirit. I will bless their hearts and let them go.

Today I learn the real meaning of "let go and let God." Today I acknowledge that I am not in control of everything in the universe -- only my actions and reactions.

Today I start over. Tomorrow I will do the same. And every day after that.

2 comments:

Talmadge G. said...

What can I say but you're an inspiration to us all.

If only there was some way to find that tape loop and friggin' destroy it......

Those are excellent resolution points to strive for. For most of us, alas, easier said than done.

God made us all pieces of work, didn't He?

-TG

Carol said...

You rock! I kinda wish that tape would come out on CD, just so I could smash it!