Friday, February 24, 2006


Today's horoscope: "You really don't need a boss to tell you what to do; you already know. Neither do you need to be told about your shortcomings or what you didn't accomplish. You tend to remember your failures and are painfully aware of your own baggage. Often your awareness works in your favor. Now, however, you gain nothing by being so hard on yourself. Practice forgiveness and start with yourself."

As I stated in another post (somewhere in mid-January), I am my own worst critic. If something goes wrong on my watch and I appear angry when you call me on it, believe that I am never angry with the critic but a million times angrier at myself.

Luckily, I haven't had a beat-myself-up episode in a while -- and I hope I won't have another for quite a while. I'm learning about forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness. I'm trying very hard not to be so difficult on myself. It's awfully hard to change 35 years plus of a habit like this. However, I have the best friends in the world who just love me up. And coworkers (especially a couple in particular) who refuse to let me put myself down. You gotta love that.

Naturally, I turn to music when I am feeling down. There have been lots of great lyrics that have helped me ... this is one of my favorites. I've learned to believe it......

One day I was on the ground
When I needed a hand
Then it couldn't be found
I was so far down that I couldn't get up
You know and one day I was one of life's losers
Even my friends were my accusers
In my head I lost before I begun

I had a dream but it turned to dust
And what I thought was love
That must have been lust
I was living in style
When the walls fell in
And when I played my hand
I looked like a joker
Turn around fate must have woke her
Cause lady luck she was waiting outside the door

I'm winning
I'm winning
I'm winning
I'm winning and I don't intend on losing again

Too bad it belonged to me
It was the wrong time and not meant to be
It took a long time and I'm new born now
I can see the day that I bleed for
If it's agreed that there's a need
To play the game and to win again

I'm winning
I'm winning
I'm winning
I'm winning and I don't intend on losing again

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