I'm just heartsick...

And I discovered I could not be a wayward spouse -- guilt would kill me.

My hairdresser is ill. Actually, "Ellie" is more than just my hairdresser, she's a dear friend. She's been doing my hair for over 10 years now. I was one of her first clients when she opened her shop, and I have sent a LOT of business her way. In return, she has always treated me with extra kindnesses and special attention.

In July when I went for my foiling and cut, she was coughing and was going to go to the doctor to figure out why she couldn't shake it. She thought it might be allergies.

My next appointment was last Friday. The Tuesday before that, her hubby called and said, "Ellie hates it, but she's going to have to cancel on you this Friday and reschedule. She's had a round of chemo this week and..........." And I just croaked. I had no idea.

Ellie is battling lung cancer.

Today, my former coworker -- also a client of hers and still a dear, dear friend to me -- called with an update. She had talked to Ellie's husband. Ellie's voice is gone. It turns out the cancer is in her lungs and liver. It's a somewhat aggressive but rather treatable type. The oncologist has given them lots of hope for success, and that's what I'm praying for with all my heart and soul.

Ellie has been there when my godchild was born, when I suffered a horrid breakup, as I battled my way back out of that awful rebuilding year, when I quit the job, when I got the new one, as I've lost all this weight, when I got the dog ...... all the good and bad of my life over the last 10 years.

I have had to find someone to do my hair. If all the treatments go well, it would be at least the new year before she can reopen her shop. I had always said that if something ever happened and Ellie moved away, I would follow her to the ends of the earth to get my hair done. I never imagined that bastard cancer being part of the equation. It is breaking my heart, just thinking about it.

So I went to a salon last night because I desperately needed a trim. The girl who did my hair is very nice, and very competent. I still felt like I was cheating on Ellie.

Please keep Ellie in your prayers. She needs them.