Very hard to believe.

Today has been one year since my friend Tee died. It is still hard to believe.

I wore a pink rubber bracelet for the longest time. I haven't in a while, and I need to start again; I am ashamed that I fell out of the habit. I bought a few things from The Breast Cancer Site. I need to do more. I click on it daily, hoping to fund mammograms for women who can't afford them. One of the items I bought was a pink ribbon tee with this phrase: "If you can talk, you can sing. If you can walk, you can dance." For me, it's inspiring when I wear it on the treadmill -- which brings me to what I want to do most.

I am actively working to participate in next year's Run for the Cure (although it will more likely be the Walk for the Cure). Our area usually has theirs the end of September/first of October. I missed it this year -- not that I would have been in shape anyway. I'm determined to do it this year. I will wear Tee's name proudly on my shirt, along with my aunt's (who is a survivor). I will shed tears of joy and of sorrow. I will not miss out on this opportunity to do something real and tangible -- to raise money to find a cure for the thing that took my friend's life.

I think of her, especially when I'm remembering things from high school. I have pictures in my scrapbooks and in my yearbooks, and her writing. And memories and so many other things that make me remember. I hope I never forget.